I smile through the fog. “No, I just didn’t sleep.”
He pats my arm solemnly. “Grandma says there’s nothing a little eye cream can’t fix.”
“Thanks for the advice, Dr. Noah.” The ache in my chest loosens a little. Raccoon eyes and all, I follow him to the kitchen.
We’re barely in when the back door flies open and Mom sweeps in on a cloud of Chanel and unfair energy. A brown paper bag in one hand, two takeaway coffees in the other, and a fruitie for Noah.
“Morning, my darlings! Croissants!” she trills. “Earl claims they’re now authentically Parisian, which I believe means a tourist spoke French near his oven.”
She deposits the bag, then zeroes in on me. “You look dreadful. So — how was last Friday?”
Right. The date with James. She’s been expecting a detailed minute log.
“It was.”
She arches a brow, then reads aloud the words stretched across my faded T-shirt:404 Error: Sleep Not Found.
“Good grief, Cole. I know a clothes therapist in Raleigh. I’ll schedule you an appointment.” She waves a manicured hand like that’s settled.
“Anyway, I want details. Did James mention Milan? Ask where you stand on monogrammed towels? Use the word discipline? We could train him out of that.”
“Mom, I’m more attracted to this takeaway cup than to him. And he called me an ‘unpolished diamond.’”
Before she can respond, Noah perks up. “Like the one Auntie Lizzie sent me?”Mom stills.
“She said it’s a moon diamond. Magic,” Noah says. “Is it true?”
I try to smile, but the truth is Lizzie’s gifts are always like that. Shiny distractions she drops off from wherever she’s traveling. Trinkets instead of presence.
Mom presses her lips together, then nods. “If Lizzie said so, it must be.” She says it softly, but I see the ache in her eyes.
It’s the same ache I’ve carried since Lizzie chose escape over staying. She can’t sit still in Baywood long enough to fix anything. Not with us, not with herself.I don’t blame her. But I do miss her.
Noah beams. “I’m gonna put it under my pillow and wish for ice cream every day for breakfast!”
“Wouldn’t you rather have broccoli for breakfast?” I tease. Noah shrieks like I’ve suggested treason. Mom’s still watching him quietly,grief written in the set of her mouth.
And me? I’m caught between two longings — for the sister who left, and the boy who did too.
Neither of them here when I needed them most.
XADEN
Baywood Public Library smells like old books and peppermint tea.
“Xaden!” Juniper calls from behind the front desk, half-buried under a stack of paperbacks. She’s wearing a purple cardigan that could either be a fashion statement or a fabric accident. Her hair is dyed to a vivid blue. That could also be a statement or an accident, knowing Juniper. “I was hoping you’d stop by! Did Frankie tell you I visited?”
“He did. Still had muffin crumbs in his beard when he mentioned it.”
Juniper laughs, knocking over the book stack. “Saatana!” she exclaims. Then she grins at me. “That was a Finnish swear word. I learned it from Earl’s special friend.”
“Earl has a special friend?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes, a lovely woman called Maija, she’s from Finland. Earl had her on the counter — on Zoom call, I mean. Not physically.”
I think of Finland and my mind produces reindeer and naked people in saunas with birch whisks. Weirdly, it fits Earl.
I help Juniper put the books back.
