Ronnie grins. “You sure? Your old friend Bailey has gone a whole day without hookin’-up. He’s gettin’ all antsy and shit. Wanna help him out?”
Cole’s eyes dart back to me, and in one blink I see it all: the disbelief. The betrayal. The grief that says how dare you become this.
And I do what I always do. I ruin it more.
I push off the truck, slow and lazy. Swaggering like I don’t care. “What do you say, pretty boy?” I say, laying it on thick. “A guaranteed happy ending.”
Ronnie howls, JJ snickers.
Cole’s eyes blaze. His hands shake.
I want to beg him to see through it. But I can’t.
Not with JJ and Ronnie watching, testing me.“I’ll catch up,” I mutter to them, nodding toward the gas station.
JJ looks at me sideways. Suspicious. But then he shrugs. “Whatever.”
Ronnie winks at Cole as he turns. “You’re prettier than the guys he usually fucks.”
Cole flinches like Ronnie slapped him. He looks at Ronnie and JJ like they’re something disgusting stuck to the bottom of his shoe, but I can see the fury and hurt underneath.
All I want is to pull him close. Beg for forgiveness.
Instead I stay silent and rooted on the spot until JJ and Ronnie finally wander off, catcalling and leering as they go.
I let my shoulders fall for just a second. Just long enough to look at Cole the way I want to.
But he doesn’t give me the chance. “Your definition of a happy ending,” he says, voice shaking, “is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He takes a step closer. Drops his voice. His eyes flick down my arms, over the tattoos I got when missing him nearly split me in two. For a heartbeat, I swear I see it: recognition, the kind that means he knows they’re all for him.
My chest tightens, stupid hope clawing its way up. Maybe—
Then his gaze hardens. “You used to look at me like I was your whole world. Now you’re the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.”
The words hit harder than any punch would. I wanted him to be angry. Anger keeps him safe. But I didn’t want this. I didn’t want him looking at me like I’ve broken something we can’t ever fix.
“What part of ‘stay away from me’ didn’t you understand?” His voice cracks. “I meant it, Xaden. Leave me the fuck alone.”
His eyes brim with tears. “Go back to your hook-ups.”
I want to tell him everything. I want to say none of this is real. That I never stopped loving him. But he turns away, and I have to let him go.
I can’t afford to explain myself, nor do I even deserve to, after hurting him over and over.
I think about the first time he whispered I love you.
Now those same lips told me I’m the saddest thing he’s ever seen.
COLE
I walk home so fast, it feels like fury’s given me wings. Everything stings — the heat, the silence, the memory of Xaden’s crude voice. “What do you say, pretty boy?”
He’s called me pretty before. So many times. And now every single one of those times feels like a lie. A cruel joke.
At home, I don’t stop. I head straight for the bathroom, shoes still on, heart pounding in my throat. I strip like I’m shedding skin, like I could peel the day off and make it mean less.
I need to pretend all that didn’t just happen.
