My tongue burns with everything I should say. These people don’t know Xaden, or me, and we’re not the flavor syrup in their melodrama. I want to snap at them to shut up. Ask them how they’d like it if their lives were picked apart like yard sale leftovers.
But the words lodge in my throat. That’s always been my curse: by the time I think of something sharp or smart enough, the moment’s already gone.
So instead of defending myself or Xaden, I’m pretending to study the label on my water bottle like it has the answers to life’s mysteries.
I don’t want this. Gossip and pity, speculation about my heartache, strangers wondering if I’ll pull myself together? Half the town thinking I dodged a bullet, half saying Xaden was out of my league anyway.
Well, that much is true. Xaden was always impossibly smart and brave. Kind and gentle. Calm and confident. And me? I was the boy who hid behind him, who relied on his voice, his strength, just tosurvive through the day.
It says a lot about us that when we met, I was stuck in a tree and he helped me down.
Then, blessedly, before the moms forget my presence again and start talking about Xaden’s abs, I see a line of kids wobbling behind Earl, like he’s the Pied Piper of Baywood. Safari is over. Or not, as Earl is still holding up a mason jar for everyone to see.
“AND HERE,” he booms, “WE HAVE THE FIERCEST PREDATOR OF THE BACKYARD — THE LADYBUG!”
The kids gasp.
“This,” Earl continues, in a more hushed voice, “is a voracious hunter. It devours entire swarms of helpless aphids.”
Lottie raises a hand. “Do they bite people?”
“They could,” Earl says ominously. “But they mostly save their bloodlust for aphids. They eat hundreds a day, leaving nothing but plant carnage behind. True warriors of the leaf.”
The kids shuffle after Earl in awe.
“Ladies, we need to talk about Earl,” Becky says, sounding horrified.
Noah spots me and runs over. “Daddy!” he yells. “We saw a ladybug! It eats thousands of bugs a day and shows no mercy!”
He grabs my hand, bouncing on his toes. “Can I go again next week? Earl said we’re learning about asphalt worms and how they plan pavement domination!”
“Of course you can,” I promise.
We walk to the car and Noah falls asleep almost before I’ve buckled him in.
I drive home, deep in thought.
The gossip I just heard pissed the hell out of me, but it was nothing compared to what happened after the Pumpkin Dance.
That night lit a match. Lisa Melville poured gasoline.
***
The gym was strung with twinkle lights and lined with carved pumpkins.
Coach Douglas stood guard by the punch like he was hoping someone would spike it so he could hand out detentions.
The whole place smelled like pumpkin spice, cheap perfume, and crushes.
I was there with Alex and Devon, but they were both dancing.
I stood near the punch table, feeling stupid.
Then I saw Xaden. He was dancing with Lisa.
A James Arthur song was playing, and she looked like the heroine in her own fanfiction.
Xaden swayed, half-in, half-out, while Lisa clung to him like expecting a declaration of love.
