Pain.He was hurting him.
“Rust?I’m– Fuck.I’m hurting you.”He eased his grip on Declan, though he couldn’t make himself let go.
“Not your soul.The necklace.”Declan didn’t pull away entirely, though he did shift his weight with a sigh.“I maintain that a bit of a headache is worth it.”
The tight panic eased a bit.He wasn’t hurting Declan just by existing.That was good.Instead, he was just an inconsiderate ass.
“Idiot.How long were you gonna wait before you told me?”
Declan’s answer came on a low, rasping laugh.“I may have been preoccupied with the implications of my wings against tree bark.”
Yeah, Antonio wasn’t going to let himself think about that.Instead, he focused on dragging his hand from Declan’s back and tugged at the necklace he’d been pressing the fae against.Christ, he really was an asshole.Easy enough to swing it around, so it dangled down his back.Easy to run his fingers through Declan’s hair, after.
He couldfeelDeclan’s relief.Feel, too, that mental purr again, as Declan leaned back into his touch.He reminded Antonio of a lean and rangy streetcat, well fed for the first time in too long.And maybe, yeah, he kept petting.Because maybe Declan kept leaning in.
“Better?Or do you need me to take it off?”
“It’s better.Still there, but better.Though, I don’t believe Faerie will allow you through the veil if you wear it.”The amusement lingered in Declan’s voice, rich and dark, like that purr.“I’d like my restraint officially noted.Not a single suggestive quip at your ask on item removal was made.”
“It’s officially noted that you’re an ass.I can drop it off when I grab my shit.I mean, I’m guessing we go to Faerie, now.”
A sick twist of dread ran through him as he said it, the contentment of holding a purring Declan torn away by fear.He’d made his choice.Given his soul.There was no backing out now.
“You built yourself an impressive iron fortress.And I do not think either of us would fare well if forced to part ways just now.”Declan still leaned in, even as his contentment turned to something that tasted more like regret.“More urgently, Calloway cannot walk into my family’s home the way he can anywhere in this world.Faerie tonight and tomorrow morning, then we sketch out a workable arrangement?You’ve no more restrictions than I do on going back and forth between the worlds.An agreement of tonight and the morning isn’t a binding oath.”
The words were so measured, so careful.Weird from the same man who’d pretty much thrown himself against Antonio, talking about club candy and coke.Everything about Declan threw him off balance.Thatconcern, the way he listened, most of all.
Antonio hadn’t expected a fae to hear him.Even his family didn’t hear him.They’d decided a long time ago that Antonio couldn’t be trusted.They all believed they knew what he needed better than he did.And maybe they were right.After all, Antonio had fucked up every opportunity given to him.Still, it grated.
“Sure.But I do need to swing by my place.Hollow can’t do the Faerie thing.At least, I can’t.I’ll need a change of clothes.”
He’d learned that a long time ago.Either he brought what he needed, or he wouldn’t have it.And the thought of entering Faerie with nothing set his heart hammering in fresh panic.
“Of course,” Declan said.No argument.No false reassurance that Antonio didn’t need to worry.Only a half step back and a faint smile.“Take as long as you need and bring as much as you want.I certainly won’t begrudge a man his wardrobe.”
Itwaswellpastmidnight when Florian took Antonio’s arm and led him across the veil to Faerie.That familiar sense of dislocation, an unsettling lurch, and then he was standing in front of a large house of dark gray stone, vine covered and imposing.
Vaguely, he heard Declan and Florian bickering about Protocol.But he wasn’t listening.He was hardly breathing.
The last time he’d seen Fairie, he’d been twelve.And when he’d realized it was over, that Calloway wasn’t coming back, he’d sobbed himself to sleep for weeks.All that beauty.All that strangeness.A world of magic.A world away from the life he’d known even then he was failing at living.
It had taken years before he stopped mourning.Years, before he managed to see past the haze of a kid’s lonely adoration, and find the truth of things.The hunger.The fear.The pain.Mostly, the powerlessness.
He’d been Calloway’s pet.And yeah, sometimes, he’d been cared for.Feasts and adventures.Magic and laughter.Sleeping curled in Calloway’s arms.
Sometimes.When Calloway felt like it.Remembered him.And all Antonio had wanted back then was for Calloway’s attention.He’d been happy, just to be a toy.Better that than to not have Calloway at all.
Then he’d stopped being fun, and Calloway had left him, just one more stray dog, abandoned on the side of the highway.Found years later by a punk sluagh with pale blue eyes and a crocodile’s smile.
Antonio tried to focus on Declan, only to find the fae watching him in turn.Probably wondering if he was going to have to talk Antonio off another ledge.
But Antonio knew how to cope with being where he didn’t want to be.He locked down the panic, the wariness, the betrayal that still felt so raw.It wouldn’t help him.His hand tightened on his gym bag, real and solid andhis.When Declan walked inside, he forced himself to follow.
“Be welcome, Antonio.”
“Yeah,” he said, like Declan had asked a question.At least Declan, unlike most of Faerie, wasn’t smudged at the edges, blurry to Antonio’s Hollow sight.Or maybe that, having one more reason to stare at Declan–his bond–wasn’t so great after all.“Right.Okay.Is there somewhere I can… be out of the way?”
“Of course.”And Declan reached out, his fingertips running over Antonio’s arms.Ink-black nails and purple fingertips, touch soft as petals.“Would you like me to show you the kitchen first?The rooms here are largely stationary, especially that one.My sister enjoys cooking by hand and did not appreciate the last attempted location shift.”
