“Christ.”His voice cracked on the word.
Declan glanced down, stared blankly at the colorless expanse of his skin.
“Oh.That makes sense.I’d thought you’d tell me if…”
Thought he’d tell him.Notice.Take better care of him than this.
“Get over here,” Antonio said, voice rough, not so different from how it’d sounded at much better times.Funny how grief could sound almost like passion.“I’m sorry.We’ll fix it, okay?”
He dragged Declan back into his arms, breathing him in: smoke and flowers and ink.His bond.His soul.Wasting away and Antonio had almost let it happen, locked in his own pathetic sulking.
“I'm sorry,” Declan echoed.
“You don't gotta apologize for shit.”
“You've done so much and I promised– I'm sorry it wasn't worth it.That I couldn't.The bloody Council’ll grind us down until there’s nothing left.I thought I could.I swear.”
Antonio was caught in stunned silence, utterly lost.How had Declan gotten it sowrong?How could he think that any of this was his fault?
“Worth it?Fuck, Murderpunk.You fought, showed ’em all they couldn’t keep you out.That’s worth something.”
“Is it?”
“Yes.”Antonio knew shaking the man wouldn’t help, so he settled for kissing his hair and squeezing him that much tighter.“You got an unseelie and a human on the Council.Even if we fuck off tomorrow, no one can change that.”
“They still hate us.”
“Yeah,” Antonio admitted.“They do.Hate us more, I think, every time we show up.I don’t see that changing.”
“Then let’s stop.”Declan’s voice was just this side of pleading.His hand found Antonio’s, soft and cool as he laced their fingers together.“Quit the Council.”
“Declan…”
“We can live in your perfectly nice flat.I can find a graveyard nearby; they're bloody everywhere.You can keep your garage.Do what you love and still have me.”
Christ, how was he supposed to say no to Declan taking his hand and offering him everything he wanted?A way out.A life better than any he’d ever lived.And then what?Faerie continued fading, unseelie babies smothered in their cribs?Declan surrounded by iron, away from everything he knew and everyone he loved.
Why was it sohardfor them?Bo and Everil didn’t struggle like this.But Everil didn’tlikepeople.And Faerie loved Bo.
What’d Bo said?Pick one thing.But the rot was everywhere.
He held onto Declan, the sharp, needle bite of his nails settling and familiar.Tried to think.To breathe.
Two choices, and neither of them right.
Or, maybe…
“Meu paixão, I see this place like no one else does.Get to see how people really treat someone who can’t fight back.See, fuck, spiders no one’s noticed.Been through enough to figure he’s got a reason to hide.”
“You’ve seen the worst of us,” Declan said.“Over and over again.I never meant for that.”
Antonio shook his head.He was still getting it wrong, but he knew Declan would keep listening until he found his way around to the words he was looking for.
“Yeah, people have been shit to me.And to you.But not all of them.Aultyr, Zyr, your family, Teth and Wyte.Hell, Hyacinth, even if his brother’s a prick.He made all of this for you.”
“I know.”He sounded so tired now, the barest thread of hope in the bond flickering in and out of existence.A flame that couldn’t quite catch.“But I’m not willing to give upusfor them.”
“Me either.”He hadn't known, until he said it, how true it was.For Declan, sure.But if Declan didn’t want it, then he’d not slit his throat for anyone else.“But they’d takeyour side.Our side.Don’t need to stay on the Council for that.We can find a different way to fight this.”
