“I don’t–”
“Bring up someone’s sex life in front of a seven-year-old and refer that person as dirty?Speak about the habits of the ‘two crazy queers’ under your roof within earshot of impressionable children?What an upstanding role model.”
“Dulce wasn’t supposed to be listening to that,” Michael snapped as ifthatwere the issue.Like it was Dulce’s fault for being a kid.
“He didn’t mean it,” Angela said at nearly the same time.
“Children heareverything,” Declan retorted.“Though I can’t blame you for feeling bold when you could get away with saying those things with only Dulce to speak in defense.Finding bravery in the tacit approval of silence.That’s not ugly or inappropriate at all, is it?”
Michael scowled, his face the same deepened red of the first time they met.The man must have surrounded himself with an echo chamber of a social life, to not have anything to say to that.Not even slurs.Which, admittedly, surprised Declan.
Angela, at least, had the sense to look as guilty as she did shocked.Though the fact she was clearly scrambling for words without success said plenty about her as well.
Antonio caught Declan’s hand, the one on the table, where everyone could see.Warmth slid over the metallic winter chill, that leather-rich curl ofsafety.Declan might never get used to such ready support.
“Christ,” Antonio said.“I’m not any gayer, or any crazier, than I was a month ago.”
“No one thinks you’re crazy, ‘Tonio.”Was it to her credit that she sounded apologetic?“It’s just… It’s different when you’re seeing someone.”
“Yeah, I’m not fucking nearly as many guys.Declan’s not going anywhere, Angie.So you better decide whether you’re okay with that.”
Angela stared at him, at their hands.Declan slid his free one over Antonio’s in solidarity.Love.Michael drew a breath to speak, which Declantrulyhad no patience for.Bastard had said enough.
“I imagine it’s difficult,” Declan said, eyes on Angela.“Being put in a place where you love a sibling so antithetical to everything you value.You remind me a little of my brother in that.He despairs of me.”
“That’s not what this is,” Angela replied, her voice tight.
“True.You care more for Antonio’s well being than Colm does mine.So perhaps it might help to know that being loved in spite of what you are is no more comfortable a place.You know exactly how the people you love the most would feel about you if you weren’t their exception.”
The table fell silent, though Michael probably only because, after a quick glance, he decided Angela’s hand was too near the steak knife for comfort.
“You don’t have the first idea…” Angela trailed off with a shake of her head.Tears threatened, despite her valiant attempts to blink them away.
“What I’ve put the family through?”Antonio prompted.
“I didn’t say that,” Angela objected.
She hadn’t needed to.Perhaps she needed to be reminded of what the family putAntoniothrough.Secure wards and camps meant to save him from himself.Declan bit the words back; it would do him no good to blame her when Antonio’s relationship with his niece was at risk.
“It’s your call,” Antonio said.Painful, how gently he said it.
“Damn right–”
“Shut up, Mikey.”
And he did.But then, he was a bloody coward who only picked on targets he knew wouldn’t fight back.
“I won’t push it,” Antonio continued.“You don’t want me around Mara–”
“It’s notyou.”And this time, her glare at Declan wasn’t meant to be subtle.
“You don’t wantusaround Mara, that’s your choice.You don’t wantusat dinner, we won’t come.You explain it to her, though.You explain why she’s not allowed to come around even though Dulce and Gabriella can.You explain to Elaine and Claudia why I don’t show up to meals.Because it’s you choosing.I– Shit.”Antonio shook his head, steadied his voice.Breathed, at the stroke of Declan’s thumb to his hand.“I’m your brother, no matter what.I love you.But I’m not gonna carve myself into pieces for you.For anyone.”
Angela stared at him, stricken.
People so often forgot that bloodletting went into conformity, and could bleed a person dry.Could leave a trail of sunbaked earth crumbled to ashes and the scent of rust-stained leather scraped raw in the air.Only when they needed to take the blade to their own skin did they realize.
“All I’ve ever done is try to protect you.”Angela’s words were so soft, they’d have been lost, had anyone else made noise.
