“It does, doesn’t it? Okay, let’s settle for some godawful tourist trap merchandise. I want to get my aunt the weirdest fucking alien hat they have. Or a shirt, if they don’t have hats.” Bo reached up to catch his fingers on some overhead, dangling leaves, still green in the autumn days.
“I can pay if you let me use magic.”
“Everil said–”
The sound of raucous laughter interrupted whatever Bo might’ve said next. Half a dozen teens made their way up the wide path, talking and shoving. Their voices rang loud and bright, except for the one who eventually quieted to take a drag of a cigarette he was too fucking young to have.
“Bo,” Talia stage whispered, wide eyes on the teenagers and their many hoodies. “I think they’rehooligans.”
“Oh, fuck, yeah, no, don’t call themthat. That’s not what they are.”
“Rapscallions? Troubled teens.” Talia looked at Bo, her expression the same kind of winsome and pathetic Bo saw on advertisements for colorful stuffed puppies aimed at small children. “Maybe they like plastic castles.”
And then, from the smoking one, now near the tree line, “Wait, shit. I know that dude. He’s, like, on the internet.”
A blonde shot back, “You think everyone’s on the internet.”
“No, seriously. The one who plays shooters blindfolded?” The smoking teen studied Bo. “No. The one who eats bugs.”
“They all eat bugs.” This from a new speaker, small and brown-eyed. Their eyes were on their phone, thumbs flying.
Well, fuck.
Bo gritted his teeth, turning away from them to keep talking to Talia without being called ‘the one who eats boogers’ next. Fuck.
“You want miscreants for your terrarium now? ‘Cause, no, I don’t think they like plastic castles.”
“But I couldask them.”
Bo glanced back at the aforementioned rapscallions again, then raised an eyebrow at Talia.
“Fifteen minutes of troubled teens and I stay over here, not getting recognized. We stay in yelling distance and see the spaceship after. No magic. Everil would crawl out of his fucking skin if he found out I said, ‘Yeah, yes, go for it and frolic about with those kids.’ Which I am not.”
“You’re thinking of selkies,” Talia replied, in a tone reminiscent of Bo’s hermit crab talk. “No magic, fifteen minutes, and I get to tell them you’re the one who eats bugs.” Talia was already moving in the group’s direction, grinning. “And that I own an awesome plastic castle.”
Talia broke away from Bo with that brilliant smile and a bounce in her step, heading straight toward the group of teenagers.
Bo didn’t even have time to get out a full, “Don’t tell them I eat bugs–”
He seriously needed to teach her about things like ‘professional courtesy’ at some point. He also needed to look up which bug-eating guy he apparently looked like and message him.
‘Hey, other content creator. Sorry about that, the kid I pledged to take care of and show around the human realm wandered off without agreeing to not tell them I was you, and Ihad my fill of talking to people not in my very small circle already that morning. See, I got bonded to a fae, through our souls and shit, and it’s been pretty wild. Don’t worry; you’ll get to see her when she hops on a couple of my episodes as a guest. I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s living in a TV show.’
Talk about fucking awkward.
Bo sighed, falling back to the edge of the path. If nothing else, it gave him the time to answer his texts. Robin, mostly, as Bo refused to look at his Dissent chat or email.
[Robin]: Per AJ: what will kill them if they eat it???
[Robin]: she insisted on 3 question marks
[Robin]: also what they don’t like, doesn’t have to kill them
[Bo]: Fuck. I’ll ask. I know the kid likes hot chocolate, and my friend’s a fan of sweets. But for actual food that won’t send them crawling up the walls… not sure. He’s definitely a meat eater.
[Robin]: thx
[Robin]: lol that’s too fucking easy im not even going to say anything
