So I wrap my hand around the collar of Erik’s T-shirt and pull him behind me.
He wriggles out of my grasp. “What the hell are you doing? This is my favorite shirt, and you’re stretching it out.”
“Oh, poor you.”
It’s January and cold, but I slam the back door shut after he follows me onto their back patio, the string lights above providing illumination in the pitch-black night around us.
Erik crosses his arms over his chest, a familiar stubborn set to his jaw that runs in our family. He’s not often one to deploy it, but that streak is there, nonetheless. Along with the temper. The one that got us into this mess. “If you’re here to lecture me about Camden?—”
“I’m here to lecture you about being a jackass.” His eyebrows shoot up when I poke him in the chest. “You want to be mad at me? Fine. Be mad. But don’t you dare take it out on Camden when he was defending me. Don’t you dare punish your team because your ego got bruised.”
“My ego?” Erik’s voice rises. “You lied to me, Nadine. Both of you lied to my face for months.”
“Because we were afraid of your reaction, and apparently we were spot-on!” I throw my hands up. “You’re being unreasonable and dramatic and?—”
“Dramatic?”
“Yes, dramatic. You’re acting like Camden committed some unforgivable sin by falling in love with me. Like I’m some helpless little girl who can’t make her own decisions.”
Erik’s jaw works, but he doesn’t respond immediately.
“I know that you hold yourself to impossible standards and you think you’re above the mere mortals you deign to walk the earth with, but people do dumb shit all the time. I’m not defending us lying to you, but this right here is proving the point of why we did. Granted, it’s a little over the top. I understand that QBs need to feel important or whatever, but even this—” I lift my hands, gesturing as if to include this conflict between us “—is too much for you. I mean…this is 2000s rom-com level drama.”
“This isn’t some childhood drama, Nan,” he says, like I’m the ridiculous one. “You know how I feel about honesty. About how hard I work to keep a tight circle of people I can trust around me.”
“We didn’t lie about killing somebody. We lied to protect your stupid season. Camden needs this championship win, and since he knows how you feel about him—how you think he’s not worthy of me—he didn’t want to wreck the team’s chances. Or our chances of being together.” I huff, a white puff of air clouding in front of me. “That tight circle of people you trust is about to get smaller by two if you don’t fix this. I know Camden has tried to talk to you, and I also know that you started all this by planting the seed in the first place, by saying he wasn’t good enough for me.”
Erik opens his mouth to argue, but I stop him. “You were there for him in Iowa, at the funeral. You know how hard thisyear has been, and I can’t believe you’d ever say that. To his face!”
My brother’s shoulders droop, as if he’s finally understanding exactly what his past actions have done.
“You told me that Camden isn’t the man he portrays, and you’re right, he’s not. He’s amazing. He’s generous and kind, funny and smart, and he respects me. I’ve never had a man who supports all of my decisions like he does. So I’m not sure if you said that shit to him as a joke or if you truly believe it, but either way, it was wrong.Youwere wrong.”
Erik scrubs his hands over his face, his defensive wall beginning to crack, so I take another swing, intent on ripping the whole thing down. “You want to know why I love him? Because he sees me. Not Erik Rivera’s sister, not the family disappointment?—”
“You’re not the family disappointment.”
I ignore his placation and keep on going. “He sees me for exactly who I am and loves me anyway. He believes in me when I don’t believe in myself.” My voice softens, just a little. “Remember when Dad didn’t want you dating Molly in high school? Said she’d distract you from football, take away your focus. But you knew what you felt for Molly was bigger than that, important enough that you could work through all the hard stuff, right? Well, that’s how I feel about Camden.”
“That’s different,” Erik says, like he’s exhausted by this conversation. So am I, but I’m not done fighting. I will always fight for Camden and our relationship.
“How? How is it different?”
Erik runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Because I’ve seen him with other women. I’ve seen how he treats relationships like they’re disposable. I’ve watched him make bad decision after bad decision.”
“And you’ve also watched him change. You’ve seen him with Paisley, how he stepped up when his world fell apart. You’veseen him work harder than anyone to prove he’s not the person everyone thinks he is.” I take a breath. “You’re his best friend, Erik. And you told him point-blank he’s not good enough for me. Do you have any idea what that does to someone who’s already struggling with their self-worth?”
Guilt flickers across Erik’s face.Good. He should feel bad.
“He loves you like a brother. Your opinion matters to him, and instead of supporting him, you made him feel like he had to choose between his best friend and the woman he loves.”
Erik goes quiet for a long moment, staring at the floor. When he eventually speaks, remorse lines his words. “I just… I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Then trust me to know what’s good for me. Trust that if Camden ever did hurt me, I’m strong enough to handle it. And trust your best friend to be the man you know he really is.”
Erik takes a few deep breaths before finally lifting his gaze. “I fucked up.”
“Yep.”
