Her voice is ragged, face red, and the pain in my chest moves up to my throat. Guilt and heartbreak rend me in two, but I can’t keep putting her through this. I can’t keep breakingherheart.
I inhale a breath, though it doesn’t make me any steadier, as I approach her, saying, “I thought you’d be asleep.”
She shakes her head, rubbing her nose on the sleeve of one of my hoodies. “I watched your game and then that interview you did. I…I feel so horrible about all this.”
“No, honey, no.” I kneel in front of her on the floor. “You have no reason to feel bad. None of this is your fault.” I swipe my thumb across her chin, under her wobbling lip. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I hope you know that.”
She sniffles and dabs at her bloodshot eyes before meeting my gaze, and I rip off the Band-Aid.
“Which is why I think we should break up. Before all this becomes worse. I don’t want you?—”
“What?”
“I can’t stand to see you crying, and?—”
“You think the way to make it better is to break up with me?”
Like the flip of a switch, there is no trace of sadness, only pure ire. It’s actually a pretty good imitation of her brother. How they can press a button for their temper, just like that.
I back up a few inches, explaining myself. “You know it’sonly a matter of time before something else happens. I do something else that may hurt you and?—”
“Your brain really is full of fucking straw, isn’t it? A corn-fed jock with the emotional intelligence of a scarecrow.”
“Riv, I?—”
She huffs, cutting off my defense. Though I’m not sure what I was going to say to that kind of funny insult. If I weren’t confused, I might laugh. “This whole situation is my fault, and I’m trying to make it better, okay?”
“Oh yeah, okay,” she mocks, pushing me away so she can stand. “This whole situation isyourfault. Like Erik has nothing to do with it?” She points at me, shouting at me like I’m her brother. Clearly needing to yell at someone. “He wasn’t the one who verbally attacked me and you? He wasn’t the one who didn’t bother to listen to us and instigated the fight? It was all you? He had his hands tied behind his back, and you whaled on him the whole time. Is that right?”
I hesitate. “Well, no, I?—”
“You defended me, like you should have. You told him the truth. You stood up for yourself and our relationship. Yes, you punched my brother and your teammate, but he deserved it.”
“Yeah…” I mumble. That’s what I thought too, but it’s weird to have someone telling me that I’m right. That I did the right thing, and I’m…grateful? Concerned a little? Like we’ve fallen into an alternate reality.
“I was crying because your team might lose because of me. Because of the tension our relationship has brought to the team, and I feel bad about that because you deserve to win.” She closes the distance between us, the anger in her voice down to a simmer. The icy river in her eyes melting when she loops her arms around my neck. “You’ve worked so hard to get to this point, and I want you to have your comeback. I was crying because I’m worried you won’t have it.”
This time, I do laugh. “You’re so upset because you think we might lose? Riv, that’s nothing compared to me losing you.”
She smacks at my shoulder. “So then why’d you say you wanted to break up?”
I bend, smiling into the curve of her neck. “Because I’m a stupid man, and I’ve seen you cry too many times over this, and I don’t know what else to do.”
“You can start by telling me you love me.”
I kiss her throat. “I love you.”
“And that you don’t want to break up ever.”
“I never want to break up.” I nuzzle her temple. “I want to marry you.”
“Then promise to go out there and win this whole fucking thing and show the world what kind of person you are.”
I kiss her mouth. “I’m going to go out there and win this whole fucking thing.” Combing my fingers into her hair, I wrap my hands around the sides of her head, bending my knees to meet her gaze. “For you. I don’t care about the world.”
She blinks away the glassiness in her eyes. “If you give up, all of this—all of my PMS crying—will be for nothing.”
I wince, grunting. “I should’ve checked the calendar. You always get emotional before your period.”
