This… is new. And I’m trying not to get my hopes up… because I don’t know what he’s thinking, and I won’t confess more than I already have. But for the first time in months, I’m happy. I’m held and worshiped in a way I’ve never been before. So I’ll take it.
“Does it ever keep you up at night?” I murmur.The killing.
He shakes his head, understanding.
“I was raised this way, Victoria. I don’t see the world in black and white—there’s a lot of gray in between. What is a tragedy for one man is the fortune of another. And the other way around.”
Like my father. Wolf took me from him, causing his tragedy. Is this his way of saying I’m his fortune? I stay on his rising chest in silence, thinking about it.
“And you? Does it keep you up?”
My eyes flick upward. “What exactly?”
“Not being able to ride. I took that away from you.”
As if on cue, I tense up, not knowing how to answer it. It doesn’t just keep me up. It rips me apart. Every day, I see those meadows, the forest, the mountains. All I can think of is that feeling… the wind howling in my ears, the sun kissing my skin, my breath catching in my lungs. It’s my drug.
I feel like I can trust him with the truth now, but at the same time, he’s the one who took it from me in the first place. So I’m not sure how to answer him.
“Forgive me,” he says, taking me by surprise. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You’re… apologizing? I thought you never…”
“I don’t have any regrets in my life, Victoria. None. Except the way I’ve treated you since I got you caught up in my life.”
“But not forcing me to marry you.”
“No. Never that.”
“I hope you know how much of an asshole you were to me that day. After we…”
A slow, regretful nod. “I was. And I’m sorry about that too. But what I said wasn’t about you. You got under my skin, and I hated it. You took away my sanity…” He sighs. “Threatened to destroy everything I’ve ever cared about.”
“Which is what?” I whisper.
“It doesn’t matter now,” he says, disappointment squeezing my chest. Does he still not trust me? “I’ll fix it. And you, love, are getting more than a small apology for what I’ve done.”
A lazy smile spreads on my lips, my own voice, too, still hooded with the spell of sleep. “I’d love that, but I’m still so sore from last night…”
He kisses me again, and again. “Go get dressed. Let’s get you a horse, then we’ll head back.”
***
Hay. Leather. Hoof polish and barn.
In here, I can smell my childhood… my whole life.
Inhaling, I hold on to the scent like it might disappear if I close my eyes, like I’m not quite believing this is happening and theman who swore to ruin me is the one making my heart grow right now.
My husband’s hand is on the small of my back, leading me from stable to stable, but not stopping in front of any. I don’t care which one we get. I just want… want to nuzzle my face into one’s neck, inhaling the calming scent of their coat. And take them home.
Home. What a strange thing to say. But if he truly means it—if he’ll really do this for me… then maybe I can make the Rykov Estate my home. It’s the only place I’ve ever been wanted, after all.
The stable owner—Jack Mulligan, as he introduced himself—walks in front of us, answering Wolf’s many questions about the horses he picked out for me to look at.
“Brought in three options from the bloodlines Mr. Kasparov recommended. All fit for trail, calm temperament, light jumping experience,” Jack says.
I slow down, unsure of what I’ve just heard. But Wolf throws me a knowing look, confirming it. He didn’t just bring me here on a whim. He talked to Sasha. Asked him about my needs, so he knew what I’d want.
