“Yes. Yes, I know.”
I take her hand and wrap it around the vibrator, handing the task over to her.
Christ. I don’t want to fucking leave this room.
“Good girl. Make it feel good. Keep it warm and wet for me. I’ll be back to play with it some more soon.”
twenty-one
Dove
Days pass and things fall into a normal rhythm. Well, as normal as they can be right now. Night after night I wake up in a cold sweat, thrashing in Rowan’s arms as the nightmares take up more and more space in my mind. I dream of the tunnels, of the corpses and their stench, of the chains wrapped tightly around my wrists and ankles. I wake up screaming, not knowing what to do with myself.
But Rowan is always here, reeling me back into the present moment, into the strength he provides to me and the warmth radiating from his bare chest against my back. He holds me, then he makes me come. And I let him, because it’s the only thing that puts me to sleep. I don’t wake again until the sun is up.
And I see him… I see him fighting his demons every day when he doesn’t think I’m paying attention. I can feel his kisses getting more tense, like he’s afraid he’s going to wake up one day and I’ll be gone again. We’re back to square one, where he’s stressed and worried about me, and I worry about him just as much.
Matthew, the doctor Rowan hired to see me, keeps coming here. They don’t tell me what’s wrong, and I never ask. I alreadyknow that whatever it is, it’s bad. The IV drips I receive keep me stable, though my condition is only getting worse. Just last night, I fell down while brushing my teeth, my legs no longer being able to support me. I got up and went to bed early, making sure Rowan didn’t find out about the incident.
He also took me to the hospital to see my mom and never let me out of his sight. He said the EFW wouldn’t be on our tracks this time, that they are waiting for us to give them what they want. Still, my brother didn’t come—he didn’t think it was a good idea to tell her he’s alive. And I couldn’t argue with that. My mom already lost her son once, and if Cole continues to put himself in danger the way he just did by leaving to meet in secret with one of his men, I’d rather she doesn’t know he’s alive for now.
But I went to see her, and the sight of her in a wheelchair broke my goddamn heart. They think she’ll make a full recovery, but it will take time. I already know that as soon as they let her out, I’ll use all my savings to get her a full-time nurse. Anything to get her back on her feet as quickly as possible.
In the meantime, I’ve been working almost nonstop. Reading articles, writing down names who I think might know more than what’s in the public eye, linking events together and trying to prove the EFW are guilty, just like my boss taught me. I feel powerful doing it, and it reminds me why I chose this line of work.
Except… the job I had is gone. I know it is, and I don’t need to read the long string of emails I got from Miss Pratt to know that. In fact, I’ve been avoiding it. I know it will be just another thing the EFW took away from me, and fuck, I worked so damn hard to get that internship… the internship no one else in my class got. Anger surges through me, and I use it as fuel to keep researching while ignoring everything else.
Everything except…
Rowan walks out on the front terrace and, without a word, his hand moves with deliberate ease, lowering my laptop lid with a soft click. My eyes snap to his, and my hands extend to open it up again. But he puts pressure on it with his fingers, and I have no choice but to give up.
I tilt my head back to catch his gaze, my breath hitching and my lips parting in frustration. He looms above me, his broad frame silhouetted against the soft moonlight.
“Rowan…”
His eyes darken as they hold mine.
“That’s enough,” he says. “What did I tell you?”
Rolling my eyes, I cross my arms at my chest, but he doesn’t falter.
“I know what you told me, and Ihavebeen taking care of myself. I was just reading something that—”
His voice goes down an octave as he says slowly, “You barely ate your dinner. You haven’t slept enough. And you didn’t come into my office this morning, like I told you to.”
Toldme, not asked me.
I breathe out, my thighs pressing together. He asked me to go into his office every morning at eight sharp. Because he needed to eat… and he wanted me to be his first meal of the day.
My frustration suddenly vanishes into the starry night. The garden is alive with the hum of crickets and the faint whisper of an early fall breeze, stirring the leaves of the willow trees and making me pull the edges of my blanket tighter around my body. It smells like fading blossoms, as if the world is clinging to the last traces of warmth that the season offers.
“How did you even know?” I ask. “You were busy all day. You didn’t pay attention—”
“I pay attention to everything.”
I squirm in my chair, defending myself. “I wasn’t hungry. And I’m too eager to get this research done to spend my time sleeping. I’ll have plenty of chances to do that after it’s all over.”
He hums, a dark smile stretching across his lush lips as he pushes my laptop to the side, then stands upright and disappears behind my chair. A shiver runs down my spine, and I know it’s not from the breeze this time. His muscular arm snakes down my naked collarbone, dipping beneath my silky nightgown until it reaches my soft nipple. I gasp, the need for him building fast.
