“Magnus, the man I sent to give you that knife, was in on it, and so are many others. I’ve gathered a small army here, men who got played after being Salister’s loyal dogs, men whose brothers have been killed for things so stupid, so simple that it didn’t make any fucking sense. Anyone who is a liability to the system gets removed. But the system is crumbling, Dove. And when the time comes, we’ll strike.”
“I love you, kid. And I’m so fucking sorry you and Mom got caught up in this. I tried to protect you, I always did. The day when someone broke into your apartment? It was me. I did that on purpose, because you still hadn’t moved in with Rowan after he reached out.
“And God, I hated him so much for doing that. I asked him to watch over my family, not get my little sister involved in this kind of life. I hated him so much, and yet… in the end, I wasglad. You make him so happy, like I’ve never seen him before, and he kept you safe for so long, even when you didn’t know he was in your life. It made sense that he would fall in love with you, that bastard. He’s a good man. And you… you’re perfect, Dove. I’m so proud of you for the woman you’ve become.”
A faint smile finds its way to my lips, the first one I’ve had in days. I swallow back tears, trying to stay quiet as best I can.
Cole looked after me… and he looked after Rowan. And he did his best to make sure we were okay when he was here, all alone, with no one to care for him. Wasting away while he was forced to see us all move on with our lives, thinking he was dead.
My heart breaks for him, and for a moment, I forget about my own pain. I want to wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly so I can tell him that I remember. That he was never forgotten, and I’ve never stopped loving him, even when I thought he was gone. I flip the page, going through the last paragraphs.
“It was crucial that you moved in with Rowan because I knew what was coming. They were planning to get to you, and I knew you’d be safe with him. My mistake was not being able to secure Mom’s safety sooner. That’s how they lured you out, and it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.”
My entire body goes taut at the mention of our mother. I don’t even know if she’s still alive. I couldn’t see her that day. I was stupid enough to go after that doctor and out of Rowan’s sight. If I had known… if I had known it would be this easy to kidnap me, I…
“I might not make it out of here alive, Dove, but I’ll get you out. I need you to be strong. I can’t talk to you, can’t even look at you. To them, I’m no longer someone with a consciousness. I’m only the monster they created, and I intend to keep being one until I’m confident we can strike back and win. That’s why I’m writing this letter. You’re a key piece of the puzzle in all ofthis, and you need to stay alive. You’re the only bargaining chip Salister has against Rowan. If you die, they’ll shoot him on the spot when he gets here, because there’s no way he’d agree to working for Salister unless he’d be doing it to save you. They’d much rather get rid of him.”
“Today I was sent to comfort you so you don’t end your life. They’ve been watching you… and they think you want to do it. If they don’t see you get better, you’ll end up back in that basement, tied up and fed by a tube until Rowan gets here. Don’t let them win, Dove. Think about Rowan—he’d die for you. You know he would. I love you so much, kid. I love you…”
I clutch the paper in my hand, wanting to reread it. Wanting to hear more of what my brother has to say, of what he’s been through… But I know better than to compromise his safety by being careless. So I fold the paper back into the small square that scratched my skin, hiding it in my fist.
“F-Fuck,” I breathe out.
I slowly push the covers off me, clearing my throat as the swelling reminds me that I’m still sick. I drape my legs over the mattress and get myself up to stand. Dizziness takes over, so I lean against the wall, regaining my balance. I go into the adjacent bathroom, careful not to reveal the paper in my hands to the cameras watching me. I still haven’t seen any, so they probably didn’t want me to know I’m being watched at all. That must be how they found out Magnus gave me that knife.
After using the toilet and flushing the piece of paper down, I wash my hands, feeling the sting from when I rubbed them raw earlier. When I rise from the sink, I glimpse myself in the mirror above it.
The face of a murderer. And the face of a coward.
It’s been days since I’ve seen myself, and I look so different. My face is thinner, cheeks hollow and sucked-in. My skin is pale, and I look sickly in a strange way. They haven’t given me anyantibiotics, and I haven’t asked. I didn’t think they’d care, but seeing that I look like this, maybe I should. If they care so much about keeping me alive, maybe they’d give me some.
I look into my swollen eyes, and the song of death calls to me again. I shouldn’t be here anymore, yet I am. Cole’s words come back to me in waves, knocking at the door of my reasoning, at the bit of sanity I’ve still got left. I don’t want to keep fighting. I feel weak and useless and my entire body is begging me to go to sleep and never wake up. But my brother is right. For him… for Rowan… for my mother, I’ll fight. These people are my whole world, and I will not turn my back on them.
It’s then that I decide I’ll no longer be a victim.
No more of this. I won’t be afraid.
eleven
Dove
Three weeks ago
Ilie awake on the couch with my head in Rowan’s lap and my lower body in another man’s. He called his friend over again. Leon.
The man who licked my pussy while Rowan held me down and whispered praise into my ear. The man who made me come on his tongue, then said he’d like to feel me around his cock. I voiced my safe word then, because I didn’t know what else to do. I thought it was wrong—so wrong, so obscene, so out of line. But Rowan showed me it wasn’t.
How can I possibly want him even more than I already do, now that another man is fingering my pussy with his bare hands? But that’s just it—this man, Leon… He feels like nothing more than a ghost, as if he’s just another puppet, same as I am. And Rowan’s strings pull our limbs together, making us do things and having the power to take it all away. Still, I hide my face into Rowan’s body because I can’t believe how wet I am for the two of them.
I can’t believe what they’re doing to me.
I whimper and wiggle in their grasp, well aware that my nakedness is in full view. They’re both fully dressed, and here I am, open and needy for whatever they’re willing to give me.
“Don’t mind her,” Rowan tells him while caressing my hair, as if I’m not able to understand them. As if I’m their pet and nothing more. “She’s being fussy. I edged her pretty much all day.”
He did.
My pussy jolts from the pleasure bolting through me when Leon’s finger puts more pressure on my soaked clit. Then he takes it away, and the sensation disperses like smoke into a gust of air. I have tears in my eyes from the way they’ve been playing with me. They’re the wolves and I’m the sweet little lamb they caught today.
