“She could check in on your mother—”
“She has no training for that sort of thing.”
“Do you?”
“Ten years of it,” Rachel retorted, although that wasn’t quite true. Since their dad had left, Meghan had taken care of their mother the most. Rachel had worked.
“Or she could take some of your cleaning jobs while you helped out with your mother—”
“I couldn’t afford to pay her.”
“This isn’t about money.”
“Charity, then?”
Andrew sighed. “Why are you getting so prickly?”
“Because this is hard on me.” Rachel could feel tears starting in her eyes, and she put her wineglass down with a thunk, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes even though the gesture was more revealing than she liked. “This is bloody, bloody hard, Andrew. A week ago you were telling me I had choices. I should go back to university. And I even looked atsome courses online, but how I can manage it or anything else now? I can’t depend on you or Claire or anyone for very long. You’ll get another job in some exotic country and Claire will figure out what she wants to do. She isn’t going to stay stacking shelves for the rest of her life.”
“Maybe not, but we’re here now—”
“And I don’t want to start counting on you only to have you walk away when it suits. Trust me, I’ve been there before.”
Andrew’s face was pale, his eyes dark. “I’m not your father, Rachel.”
“I don’t know what you are,” Rachel snapped. “What’s really going on here?” She gestured to the space between them. “Why are you getting so involved in my life? My family’s life?”
Andrew was silent for a moment, his gaze steady on her. “Because I care about you,” he finally said.
Rachel’s breath came out in a rush. “I’m not even sure what that means, considering how far apart our lives are.”
“Can’t we just take it one day at a time, one step at a time? I’m in Macclesfield for another couple of months. I can come up here on the weekends. And you could come visit me—”
“How? Leaving home for one day was hard enough.” She shook her head, everything in her weighted down, heavy. “I appreciate all your offers of help, Andrew, I really do. I know you’re sincere. But I can’t start depending on someone only to have it all blow up in my face.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t.”
But that required a level of trust she simply didn’t have. She shook her head again and reached for her bag. “I should go.”
“Let me walk you home.”
“There’s no need.”
“My car is back there, anyway.” He put his unfinished glass of wine next to hers and helped her on with her coat, a gesturethat made Rachel feel worse. They walked in silence out of the restaurant and headed back up the street.
The pub quiz was over and people were spilling out into the street, laughing and joking good-naturedly. Rachel slowed her step, reluctant to be caught up in the moment.
She saw Claire and Dan walking Eleanor Carwell back to her house, and Lily heading up to hers. Juliet and Peter were holding hands as they walked down to Tarn House. Everyone looked happy.
“Let me come with you to the hospital tomorrow at least,” Andrew said. “That’s why I came home, after all.”
“Home? Is this really home for you?” Andrew didn’t answer, and she sighed. “Okay. Fine.” Then, because she knew she sounded ungracious, she added, “Thanks.”
They’d reached the house the same time as Lily, and the smile slipped off her face as she looked at them.
“Is everything okay?”
“Fine,” Rachel said. “But as it’s only nine o’clock, you can get another hour in of revision.”
