Alex came in just as the kettle was coming to a boil; he’d already dropped Poppy off at the Breakfast Club.
“Good morning,” he said, and gave Lucy a tentative smile. “I didn’t get a chance to talk to you after that phone call. . . .”
“I know. I’m sorry about that.”
“How was it? Everything okay?”
“Well, no, not really.” Alex frowned and Lucy continued. “My mother was on the phone last night—”
“I know.”
“She told me she has cancer.”
“Lucy, I’m sorry—”
She plowed on, knowing she needed to say it all. “She’s having a double mastectomy tomorrow. I told her I’d be there.”
“Tomorrow? But . . .”
“I need to leave soon for a late-afternoon flight from Manchester. I’m so sorry for the last-minute notice, but I didn’t feel I had a choice.”
“No, I understand.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “The timing’s terrible, but that’s cancer for you.”
“I thought Maggie Bains could cover for me until Christmas. And then Nancy Crawford is coming back.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll manage. We’ll be fine.” He dropped his hand and stared at her. “But I didn’t mean the timing was terrible for school. I meant for us.”
He held her gaze and Lucy was the first to look away. “Yes. Well. I hope I’ll be back in a few weeks. Sometime in January, maybe.”
A second’s pause, heavy with meaning. “Maybe?” Alex repeated.
“I don’t know how long she’ll need me, but I want to come back, Alex. Iwillcome back.”
She wanted him to believe her, but judging from the way his expression hadn’t altered, she didn’t think he did. And she wasn’t sure she believed herself. She had no idea what to expect when she reached Boston.
“Well, you have to do what you have to do. Of course.” He took a step back, as if distancing himself from her. “Anyway, this might work out for the best. For us, I mean. I haven’t even checked the policy about dating staff. It would be better if we didn’t announce a relationship until you’d finished at the school.”
He sounded as stiff and officious as he had when she’d first met him. Lucy felt as if there was an awful subtext to everything they’d said that she didn’t want to be there. This felt like a far more final and formal farewell than she’d meant it to be.
“Okay, well. I can stay the morning, until you can arrange for Maggie to come in. My train for Manchester doesn’t leave until two.”
Alex waved a hand. “No, I’m sure you have things to do. You might as well go. We’ll manage.”
“Okay.” She wanted to kiss him, or at least hug him, good-bye, but the mood wasn’t right and children were starting to come up the hill. “I’ll call you,” she said, and he nodded.
“Yes. Call me.” And he turned away before she’d opened the door to go.
Sixteen hours later Lucy stood in the foyer of her mother’s luxury apartment in Boston’s Back Bay, exhausted and overwhelmed and emotionally very fragile.
“Lucy.” Her mother pressed her cheek against hers, the closest she ever came to hugging. “You’re so good to come.”
“Of course, Mum,” she said woodenly. She’d spent the eight-hour flight from Manchester wondering if she was making a mistake. If she should have made more promises and given an exact date for when she’d return, or even if she should have gone at all.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, and her mother sighed and sat down on one of the ivory leather sofas in the living room. She looked the same, her silver hair cut in a sleek bob, the lines on her face making her look elegant and experienced rather than just old. She wore a loose caftan top in beige silk and a pair of cream leggings, an outfit that would have made Lucy look like a potato but that Fiona wore with glamorous ease.
“Rather annoyingly well. I didn’t have any symptoms besides this wretched lump. Thank goodness I had it checked out. I’m going to write a piece forThe New Yorkerabout the importance of yearly mammograms. I’ve already had it accepted, on spec.” Her mother smiled, seeming almost contented, and Lucy tried to suppress her irritation and even disappointment. Had she really wanted her mother to fall apart, to make her feel needed?
“Well, I’m glad,” she said awkwardly. “I’m terribly jet-lagged myself. I might get some sleep.”
