“Doesn’t mean it’s real. Is it about this list that everyone’s on about?”
“Could be a factor. You guys know anything more?”
“Nothing’s verified. The picture we’ve formed from the rumors, as of now, is that it’s a piece of paper with the names—real and assumed—of CIA operatives and agents that’s supposedly on its way to the Kremlin. Handwritten under duress by one of ours in Moscow who was about to lose a hand, an ear, a child, or a marriage, depending on which story you listen to. Can’t help noticing you still have both your ears and hands, so perhaps it was you.”
“Or you. Whoever it was, whether or not it’s real, my assets are getting jumpy.”
“Unless she has something to bargain with, she’s not a candidate for an exfiltration.”
“She wants it to look legit. Wants us to get married and go to the U.S.”
Randolph paused in his grooming, his finger at his temple. “You got a zipper problem?”
“I don’t have to be screwing her to feel responsible.”
“Feelings are below your pay grade,” Randolph said, with only a drop of humor.
“The Agency won’t want to lose her. Her sources won’t report to anyone else.”
Randolph smoothed an eyebrow. “You know as well as I do that if she leaves Moscow, she’s no longer an asset. In fact, she could be a liability. And if sheisunder suspicion, if she is on this list, disappearing will only serve as confirmation.”
“Staying in Moscow won’t rule out suspicion, either. We can make a marriage look legit—we’ve known each other long enough. I can escort her out.” Shit, now he was trying to talk Randolph into it? Five minutes ago that hadn’t been his plan.
“You’re willing to go through with this? Not that I’m saying it’s on the table. You know that would be the end of this posting?”
Carter gave a no-big-deal shrug but his stomach twisted. Of course, it wouldn’t behimgetting married, just his alias. And there wasn’t anything stopping him remarrying for real, legally. After the obligatory seven years missing, Vanessa was officially declared dead. Hell, maybe if he faked a new marriage, his mom would stop nagging him to move on.You’re like an aircraft in a holding pattern, you have to land sometime. You know she’s been gone far longer than you were together—who knows if you would have lasted, given your jobs, given how you butted heads? It’s easy to be madly in love when you’re young. You have to be careful you don’t remember it to be something it wasn’t.
“Have you seen anything amiss?” Randolph said.
“No. But I’ve been gone a few weeks. I’m taking this seriously.”
Randolph pursed his mouth. “As you should. We’ll run an SDR on you both tomorrow. Do some basic dry cleaning.”
“I run surveillance detection constantly. You know that.”
“And you’ve failed to pick up anything, so maybe she’s seeing ghosts.”
“But if she’s right? If she’s been made?”
“We pull you out straightaway. Shut down the operation. If she’s compromised, you’re compromised.”
“What about her?”
“If there’s already counter-intel on her, they’ll never let her out of the country. If there isn’t, she’s probably okay.”
“Come on, Randolph. We can do better than that. She’s earned this.”
“That’s not how it works and you know it. Look, I can run it by the station chief.” Randolph slowly shook his head, since theyboth knew what the answer would be. “But, buddy, she chose this path. She had her reasons. We didn’t have to coerce her. She came willingly, she passed the tests, she agreed to the rules. Whether this is cold feet or she’s been blown, it’s not on you. You’ve had a good run in the greatest environment in the world for our profession. Possibly the most successful clandestine operation in the modern era. Could be time to call it a day.”
“Shut down the network? You know what a blind spot that’ll leave in the intel.”
“You gotta play it carefully,moydroog. You’re a NOC. Without official cover, we can’t give you diplomatic protection. Walk away now and you won’t have to run later.”
The door opened and Carter resumed washing his hands. As the newcomer headed for the stalls, Randolph left without a word, his slight limp marking a stilted patter down the echoing hallway. Every conversation they had, Carter was left wondering what Randolph wasn’t telling him.
Carter ran his hands through his hair, which still felt cold from the thirty-degree temps outside. Holding pattern or not, he liked this all-consuming non-existence, where he was at the same time backpedaling and doing something endlessly interesting. The job filled his life right to the edges, shoving all the other shit out of the way.
But what now? If he caught that train in forty-eight hours, what fate would he leave Nika to—and would he even find out what became of her? He’d always wondered if there was more he could have done to find Vanessa—still wondered. He sure as hell didn’t need another missing woman on his conscience.
