She lingered before a half-collapsed window, sunlight falling across the blackened floorboards.
A shiver ran through her as she realized that she had crossed into more than just a room. She had entered a part of Cassian’s life that no one else had touched, one that she had promised not to intrude on.
At last, she truly understood the distance he kept, the composure he displayed, and the walls he had built.
“Adelaide.” His voice was sharp, controlled, but threaded with disbelief.
She whirled around, startled, a flush rising to her cheeks. She knew that she should not be there, but she had not planned to stay long. She only wanted to understand.
“Cassian, I?—”
“You were explicitly told not to enter this wing.”
His gaze swept over her, lingering on the way she stepped lightly on the ash-covered floorboards. She wanted to disappear, to go anywhere else where she would not have to see the betrayal in his eyes.
“I forbade it for a reason.”
“I know,” she replied, her voice trembling slightly. “But I had to see it.”
“You had tosee it?” he echoed incredulously. “This is not a curiosity for you to satisfy. This is?—”
He faltered as he looked around the wing, then composed himself. Adelaide realized then that it could well have been the first time in years that he had set foot in there.
“This is a part of my life that is not yours to explore. And certainly not without my permission.”
Adelaide took a step closer, undeterred. “I had to see it, Cassian. You know that I would never do anything to offend you, but I had to see it. I have a right to explore my own home.”
“Do you think that justifies disobedience?” His voice rose. “Do you have any idea what could have happened if the floorboards had given way? If—it does not matter. I told you not to come here. That was not an invitation to push me.”
“I was careful,” she insisted, her frustration flaring, even though she knew she was at fault. “I did not touch anything important.”
“You did not touch anything important?”
His laugh was bitter, harsh. She had never heard such a sound come from him, but then she had never done anything like this before.
“You were in a ruin that still smells of smoke and ash, a ruin that holds the memory of my father’s death. That may not be important to you, but it means everything to me, and now it is no longer his final resting place. It is a place you decided was yours toexplore.”
Adelaide’s hands curled into fists at her sides. “I am your wife. I care about you. Do you not want me to understand the man I married?”
“Wanting to understand does not give you the right to intrude. Some things are not up for discussion, and this is one of them. I could not have been clearer about that.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?” she demanded, her voice rising in desperation. “Stand aside while you hide from your past? Stand back while you bear it alone, like you always have?”
“I bear it alone because it is mine to bear. Because no one else can shoulder it, and because no one else would understand the weight.”
“I am trying to understand!” she cried. “I am trying, Cassian!”
“You are trying too hard. Curiosity is not compassion. You are stepping into a place that will only hurt you and me. I warned you. Iforbadeyou.”
“And yet here I am.”
“Because you believe you have the right.”
“Because I cannot watch from a distance while you remain stuck here after all these years. I will not stand by and let you choose to suffer, when you should have begun to heal long ago.”
Cassian faltered for a moment, the fury in his eyes flickering out. She wondered what he was thinking, aside from the many awful things he likely thought of her at that moment.
Then he straightened, stepping back. There was nothing on his face anymore that she could discern, and that frightened her more than his anger ever could.
