“Ah, yes, it was… it was a wonderful evening, though I do not suppose I will ever grow accustomed to being scrutinized like that.”
“You will have to, eventually,” her mother replied warmly, guiding her to a seat. “Shall we take tea and discuss it all?”
Adelaide nodded and requested that tea be brought to them.
She looked at her mother and wished that she knew what to say. She wanted to tell her the truth, but she knew her mother tended to worry, and she could not bear the thought of that.
She was in a good position, and there was nothing to be gained in telling her mother that she was not completely satisfied with her new life.
“I do not mean to be rude,” she said instead, “but why are you here?”
“Did your husband not tell you? He invited me days ago. He thought it might be good for you to see a familiar face.”
Adelaide blinked.Of course, her husband had not told her a thing.
There was nothing in the world that confused her more than Cassian Blackmoor. At least she understood Edmund Hargrave. He wanted to be powerful, and he could not stand rejection. He was easy to read, and she always knew what to expect.
But her husband was different. Sometimes, she had to be soft and quiet; other times, she could see that he liked it when she spoke her mind. If his mother was pleased with her, she could see the envy, but when she was difficult, she could see him questioning just how they would all be able to live with one another.
Nothing seemed to please him, but nothing truly enraged him either.
Then again, that only proved that he felt nothing for her, and if that were the case, then she would be more hurt than she would have been by anything else.
“He is right.” She nodded. “I have missed you, Mama.”
“As have I, dearest. Wynn House is so quiet without you. And what of yours? His Grace has warned me that his mother might make an appearance, but I suppose it is good for you to have a companion here.”
Adelaide lowered her voice, for she did not want Iris to hear her and take offense.
“I do not know what to make of her. She changes every day with me, and when it comes to Cassian, I am convinced that she is disgusted with him. Though I do not know why.”
“If you were referred to as a dragon, I do not suppose that I would be too thrilled with you either.”
She winced at the name. “Why is he called that? I will not pretend that he is a loving man, but he hardly breathes fire. There are worse men. Hargrave, for example, is dreadful, but he is somehow adored.”
“Dearest, you know how reputations are. He uses strong words, and he makes threats loudly. That is more than enough for people to form their opinions.”
Adelaide thought back to the ball, where, after telling her how vital it was that they were proper throughout the evening, Cassian flouted such expectations. She had not asked him why that was, but she assumed it was because he assumed that rules did not apply to him, given his position. But they did, and his actions would quickly affect her if they were not careful.
She shuddered at the thought.
Her mother wrapped an arm around her. “You will both be seen for who you are soon enough. Believe me, it is easier for the two of you to change perceptions. You are among those who shape them, after all.”
“And what if who I am is not enough? I was not meant to become a duchess. I never expected anything like this. All I wanted was to marry a kind man of decent upbringing. I did not need a title, nor extraordinary wealth, nor any of these expectations. I only wanted to be Adelaide.”
“And why can Adelaide not be a duchess? You know how those other duchesses are. They are not all the perfect image that you are told to be, yet they are respected in their own right. Your issue is that you refuse to be who you truly are, which means that you can be torn apart with ease.”
“That is not true!”
“Isn’t it?”
Adelaide fell quiet, her gaze dropping to her lap. She wished she were confident like Cecilia, but that was not who she was. Years ago, she had been different, self-assured. But after the scandal following her broken engagement, she had been left terrified of trusting others. She could not risk being torn apart again, so it was easier to go unnoticed.
Being uninteresting was the very best part about her, she thought. It meant she could be left alone, but that was not possible as long as she was a duchess.
“Am I interrupting anything?”
Adelaide looked up to see Cassian standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame casually.
