Adelaide relived the entire discussion. Once she had overcome the shock of seeing Hargrave there, she had played her role well. She was a blissfully happy wife, one who adored her husband and was adjusting to her new duties perfectly. She was, as far as Hargrave knew, perfectly content with what had happened, and there was no changing that.
“Did he believe the lie?” Cassian asked.
“Not all of it was a lie,” she protested. “At least, I hope that you do not see it that way. I think I have indeed taken to my new role well. Or rather, my new duties. As for the rest of it, yes, he seemed to believe me. That was the problem.”
Her palms grew clammy at the memory.
“You see,” she continued, “I had not meant to make him jealous, but that is the sort of man he has always been. He asked me if you made me happier than he did, and two matrons turned to look at us when he said it. I did not know what else to say, so I explained that while I was grateful for the time I had with him, what you and I share is special, and it cannot be compared to anything else.”
Cassian gave her a nod of approval.
She wished that it did not mean so much to her. She did not want to need him to like what she did, but every time he gave her the smallest hint, her heart would soar.
She began to believe that she had done something truly good.
“And I will assume that he did not like that.”
“He did not. I assure you that I said it with utmost politeness, but it made himjealous. He went on to remind me that I was his first, and that that means I always will be his in a way. Then he…he told me that if I ever change my mind, I know where to find him. Then you arrived.”
“I see,” he said quietly, his eyes holding hers. “For a start, you will never be in the same room with him again. I will not allow it. Furthermore, you are right. You were handling matters perfectly well, and had I not been there, I am sure you would have settled it yourself. However, he will not stop if he believes I will do nothing about it.”
“But—”
“No, Adelaide. I know how men are. If he believes you do not have a husband who cares for you, he will continue to act accordingly. I have to prove to him that it’s not the case.”
“Isn’t it?” she asked.
She did not know why she asked, for she knew the truth. She knew what their arrangement was, that there was no changing it. And yet she asked.
Part of her wanted him to tell her that he did care for her, even though it was far too complicated for such feelings. And she did not want those feelings to exist, of course.
But when he turned to her, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and looked into her eyes, she wondered if that was the truth.
“Would it be so bad if I cared for you?” he murmured. “You are my wife. It is my duty to care for you. If I did not, there would be no use in us being married, to begin with.”
“You know what I mean. There is a difference between caring for someone out of obligation and caring for them because you truly feel that way.”
“Have I not been very clear about how I feel?”
He left her sitting there in silence, and she took a shaky breath.
The truth was, he had made his feelings known, and he had never once hidden them from her. He was a loveless man, and they would have a loveless marriage, and he would only ever care for her in the sense one would care for a companion.
Adelaide lived in a home with two other people, yet she had never felt more alone.
The following morning, she did not go down for breakfast. She did not want to eat anything. More than that, she did not want to see Cassian.
Their conversation the night before had unsettled her, and she did not know what to do with it. Avoiding him was best, though she did not know how long to do that for. She expected to be alone until dinner that evening, where they would not mention what had passed between them.
What she did not expect, however, was to find her mother in the drawing room, watching the door as if waiting for her.
“Mama!” she gasped. “What are you?—”
But before she could say another word, her mother pulled her into a tight embrace.
Adelaide’s throat thickened as she hugged her back, her need for affection rising to the surface.
“Are you well, dearest?” her mother asked. “I heard of your triumph last night.”
