“Then consider yourself lucky,” he grumbled, the sky beginning to spin. “I have chosen you out of every lady in London, so that must be something.”
He turned to look at her… and found himself sobering up. She was a beautiful lady, and though he had never intended to look at the same woman for the rest of his life, he had to admit that she was making him change his mind.
And yet she did not seem very pleased.
“I know you do not want this,” he sighed.
“Nor do you,” she laughed sadly. “We are both rather unlucky in that respect.”
“You are supposed to say the contrary.”
“Am I? I would have thought that you would prefer honesty, which is what I will always give you. I do not think that a lie is the best way to begin a marriage, after all.”
“So you truly do not want me to be your husband?”
She was silent for a moment, a smile playing on her lips. In his stupor, he remembered her letter, how she said that she had always found it easier to express herself in writing, and he wondered why she felt that way. In that moment, she was speaking to him perfectly fine.
“There are worse men,” she began. “If I have to be tied to a stranger who does not want to get to know me, then it might as well be you. I would rather that than the only other gentleman who set his cap to me.”
It was hardly a compliment.
Cassian wondered if she hated him for what was to come. He knew that she resented him in part. She could have been so much more than his wife, but because he had been unable to control his temper, her life was now ruined.
“I accept that,” he replied, hauling himself to his feet. “I should go back home. I will see you in the morning.”
“Very well. Good night, Your Grace.”
He staggered home, barely making it to his bed before collapsing. He did not know how he had found his way there, but he knew that he wanted to sleep for days. He was exhausted from all the effort he had exerted that week, and he wished that hecould sleep through the ceremony and wake up with a ring and a wife. It would mean suffering less.
And yet he was awoken a few hours later by his valet, who had opened the curtains to let in the sunlight. The pounding in his head grew worse, and his stomach churned. He did not know what was causing it. It was either the night before or the day ahead, but something was making him feel unwell, and there was no ridding himself of it.
“Here you go,” Mrs. Halstrom announced, thrusting a plate in front of him when he sat at the breakfast table. “You might wish to eat it quickly.”
He groaned at the sight of it, much to his housekeeper’s surprise. Burned fish and toast were not the typical wedding breakfast, but the charcoal would soak up the alcohol and hopefully sober him up. He had to eat what he was offered anyway.
He chewed on it all with a disgusted look on his face.
“I do hope that you find a better expression before you reach the altar,” Mrs. Halstrom noted. “Or else you will scare the lady away.”
“That might be for the best.”
“Your Grace, if I may. Why are you so determined to go through with the wedding if you do not want to? I know that you aretrying to avoid a scandal, but it rarely falls on the gentleman. You did not need to do all of this.”
“Yes. Now that I think of it, a courtship might have been sufficient, but it is too late for that now. Lady Adelaide has been in this position before, and she would not survive it a second time, so this is what must be done.”
He finished his meal and rose to leave. On his way out, he paused in the doorway. “Mrs. Halstrom?”
“Yes, Your Grace?”
“I would prefer that you do not think of my betrothed that way ever again.”
CHAPTER 8
“Iam pleased that the ceremony will be small,” Adelaide said quietly as they left the house.
The gown was, as expected, nothing short of incredible. There was lace and bows in the perfect places, embroidery on the hems and across her veil. She felt plain in comparison to what she was wearing, but she did not mind that too much. It was simply a sign of what was to come.
Only a handful of witnesses were going to attend. There would be the Duke’s solicitor, her mother, and Cecilia, who was under strict instruction to sit discreetly in the back. There would be no flowers, no music, and no celebration. But that did not affect Adelaide too terribly. The fewer people who saw the spectacle, the better.
