‘See, Aquarians are hyper-sensitive. You lot take everything to heart.’
She thinks about this for a second. ‘How did you know I was an Aquarian?’
I briefly entertain the thought of telling her that she told me about her birthday before, but we’re not that close. ‘Well, I didn’t, but guessing people’s star signs is kind of a gift of mine. I don’t know how I do it, but I’ve got like a ninety-five per cent hit rate.’
‘I’m not sure I believe in any of that stuff,’ she says. ‘Like, are we meant to believe that a twelfth of the population have the exact same personality traits? Or that people born in the same month are gonna have the exact same thing happen to them tomorrow?’
I shrug.Well, maybe.
‘OK, well, tell me more about Aquarians.’
‘Hmm. You’re very creative. Altruistic. Keen to help others. You’re also the oddballs of the zodiac, so a lot of the time with Aquarians, you don’t like them the first time you meet them. They sort of grow on you.’ If only she knew how true that is here.
‘Huh.’ Alice lets all this sink in, trying some of it on for size. ‘What sign are you?’
‘Gemini. We’re intellectual. Curious. But can be sort of two-faced.’ I laugh, although the reality of that makes a slight cigarette burn on my mind.
Alice laughs too. ‘What about… Scorpios?’
I already know this to be Ted’s star sign. ‘I don’t know how compatible Aquarians and Scorpios are,’ I tell her. ‘Scorpios are possessive and jealous. Aquarians are more free-spirited and this drives them nuts.’ Is this even true? It sounds true, even if it maybe isn’t.
As Alice’s face darkens a little, I add hastily, ‘Scorpios are also the most passionate and sensual star sign of the zodiac,so there’s that.’ Any details about Ted and passion, she keeps to herself.
That night back in Naomi’s house, I vibrate under the bed covers, keeping an eye fixed on the ceiling to avoid shrieking out into the darkness with happiness. My heart feels so unbelievably full. Ted is officially in my life, in my circle. I’m friends with a model, which somehow makes me a cooler and better person by proxy. I feel the first wave of romance warming my cheeks. I’d forgotten all about the first flush, how it runs through the body like an electrical current. It’s splendid.
26
After turning the key in the door at six a.m., I doze for a few hours and it’s fitful sleep, the type where I need to keep pushing myself back down into oblivion. Right before midday, I wake with the excitement of Christmas morning. There’s a hangover battling around my head but nonetheless, I am buzzing with a whole new vigour. I take a shower and I feel so sensual and horny that I masturbate quickly using the shower head. Afterwards, I make a mental note to invite Naomi shopping.
I walk into the kitchen and Naomi is there, red-eyed and teary, with a stack of papers next to her. At first, I take it that something has happened with Stevie– perhaps they have broken up after all– but she stiffens when I open the door and say, ‘Oh, my love, what is it?’
Naomi doesn’t react, instead watching me under heavy, swollen lids as I walk into the room.
‘Nothing,’ she whispers, to herself as much as anyone else.
I turn to the coffee machine, weirded out by the crackle of energy in the air.
‘What are you doing today?’ Her voice sounds weird, as though it’s a genuine effort to stay normal.
‘Not sure yet,’ I tell her. ‘Last night was sort of full on, so maybe just some writing.’
She takes this in. ‘Cos that’s what you’re doing, right? When you’re on your cell or your laptop all night. Writing this great piece of work.’
‘I’m not sure I’d call it great,’ I say uncertainly.
Naomi’s stiffness then melts into a quiet fury. I try to read the papers, upside down. They look like screengrabs from emails, Facebook messages and Gchat conversations.
‘Do you know someone called Violet Stafford?’ she says, sounding like nothing I’ve heard from her before. Glacial. As though we’re in a courtroom.
I can feel the heat creeping up my neck, travelling towards my cheeks, making my whole head purple.
‘She’s some random teenager that friended me on Facebook a long time ago,’ I tell her. ‘I’m not sure she’s the full shilling, to be honest.’
Appearing to nod in comprehension, Naomi then puts her finger down on the thick pile of papers and peels a page from the top. She angles it away from her face and begins reading.
‘“I truly feel that if I were to meet Ted Levy, I would explode with happiness,”’ she reads, peering at me over her glasses. She picks up another. ‘“I can’t believe it but I am actually friends with his sister now. No sign of him anywhere though unfortunately. I haven’t checked her room yet but surely there must be some sign of him there. He’s her brother after all.”’
Hearing them out loud is making me see white spots dancing in front of my eyes. ‘“I can’t wait to meet Judith…”’ Naomi begins before exploding. ‘My fucking MOM??’
