‘Well, she did kiss me, and she had no shame about it.’
The whisky had begun to dull her senses, but not enough to make her insensible just yet. Lowri felt light, as if her troubles were dissolving, but she was restless, and she did not know why. Cullen held her gaze, and she studied his face through a whisky haze. She had to own that he was handsome in a rough, snarling kind of way. And his mouth had felt good on hers when he’d kissed her. Her body had responded to him, and a reckless part of her that got her into trouble all the time wanted to find out why.
‘So you were passed around different houses as a lad?’
He gave her a look that was not anger, but pain. ‘My father was not fond of my mother by the time I was born. They were not wed, you see. My father saw her one day and took her. She was poor, and her family, well, they as good as sold her to him. For my father, I think it might have been love, or infatuation at least, for she was beautiful. She was not given a choice, though I suppose she tried to love him.’ Cullen shrugged. ‘I did not have her for long, but I remember she was beautiful, with dark hair and eyes, like you. My father could not hold her affection, andhe made her so unhappy that eventually, she descended into madness and had to be locked up. I was sent away against my will, banished, in fact. Not to spare me the sight of my mother’s madness, but to punish me for speaking up for her, and because my father feared I carried that taint of madness in my blood too. By the time I was a grown lad and came back, she had passed.’
‘I am sorry for it,’ said Lowri.
Cullen seemed to gather himself. ‘Ah, it was a long time ago, and we share the death of our mothers. Perhaps that is why we turned out badly.’
‘Aye. Peyton tried to guide me. I should have listened to him. I should have stayed in that convent.’
‘You would be wasted down on your knees in prayer.’ He smirked and chuckled to himself.
‘Why are you smiling?’
‘I am thinking of you down on your knees, lass.’
Lowri frowned, and Cullen laughed and shook his head, mocking her. ‘You pretend to be this wild, reckless woman, Lowri, but I’d wager you’ve not had many adventures with men, have you? Maybe it is your convent education.’ He stared into her eyes and said quietly, ‘Far better to give yourself to me than to God, don’t you think?’
‘I don’t know about that,’ she squeaked. She began to feel a little unsteady, but less adrift than she had all day.
A slow smile warmed his face. ‘Do you like what you see, Lowri?’
‘No.’
‘Take a proper look. Come closer. I’ll not touch you anywhere you don’t want me to.’
‘No. I do not want a repeat of that mauling on my wedding night.’
‘Lass, you have to give it a proper try. It can be glorious. And last time it was done in haste and under orders, yours, I believe. ‘You have to do it, Cullen. Now!’ He pointed at his groin. ‘Men need to be seduced as much as women.’
‘And how does a woman seduce a man?’ she scoffed, as a reckless excitement took hold.
‘Easily. Just take a man in hand, and he will do anything you ask.’ He made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh. ‘Maybe Maeve should just try that with my cousin, and he would be less of a miserable wretch.’ He shook his head and swigged more whisky. ‘But here I am, just like Seamus, and my father, forcing a woman to endure my miserable company.’
Lowri blurted out, ‘You are nothing like Seamus or your father.’ As the words left her mouth, she knew she was giving Cullen a gift, opening a door she might not be able to close.
Cullen leaned into her. ‘The hour is late. Let’s go to bed,’ he said.
Chapter Thirteen
When she left the warmth of the fireplace, the night air hit Lowri like a bucket of cold water. She blundered into the wall in the dim hallway, and Cullen took her by the crook of her elbow and steered her upstairs to their chamber. Someone had lit the fire, which made Lowri smile foolishly.
Cullen pulled the bolt across the door with a scrape which made her wince. ‘In case Seamus thinks to murder me in my sleep,’ he said, laughing. He slid his arms out of his jacket and then tore off his boots and socks, hopping unsteadily and lurching sideways into her. She pushed him off, and he began to undo his braies. Lowri could not look away. In an instant, they were off, and he was naked from the waist down. He lurched towards her and almost staggered over again, but she caught him. Cullen looked down on her blearily before saying, ‘Need any help with your stays, lass?’
‘No,’ she squealed. Lowri staggered back as the room began to tilt like a boat on choppy seas. She thumped into the bed, and when she looked down, the floor seemed to come up to meet her. Lowri bit her lip and reached back to undo her stays, but only managed to loosen them a little, though that was a relief after eating too much at supper.
When she looked up, Cullen was closer. He gathered his shirt in his hands, hauled it over his head, and threw it to one side. Now he was naked, a great hulk of flesh and muscle, threatening and beautiful all at once. Why must he stand before her with hisbroad chest and his manhood in all its glory – strange, potent and frightening.
‘It’s cold, you should get into bed,’ she said.
‘Not that cold,’ said Cullen, looking down between his legs. He took hold of her roughly. ‘Maeve was wrong about you, and she was nasty tonight. It is jealousy, for you are beautiful, Lowri Strachan.’
‘Tis the whisky talking,’ she said.
‘No, I see you, clear as day.’
