‘Aye.’ Maeve grabbed onto Lowri’s arm. ‘No one has ever mentioned my shame at Graywell, for Seamus has forbidden folk to do it. He is proud, you see, and will not acknowledge that this child is not his. So, we ignore the truth, the two of us, and it hangs in the air, and folk stare when I am with Seamus, wondering what he thinks of me. Not that he is with me much.’
Why would Maeve talk of her situation with such candour? There was something desperate about her, and Lowri began tothink the lass was a little touched, but her loose tongue could be useful.
‘Perhaps you should not talk about this with me,’ she said.
‘Why not? And mark my words. You may be Cullen’s wife now, but you will forever be an outsider, just like me, for the Macaulays only ever trust their own. And who else can I talk to? I’ve no friends here. If you stay, we may be friends, even though you are a Strachan, and my brother, Jasper, once hated yours.’ She giggled. ‘It seems times have changed for all of us.’ She stroked her belly absentmindedly. ‘I must get on.’
Lowri followed her to the kitchen, which was smoky and dark, but it had a roaring fire, which was welcome. The old woman, Esther, was lounging before it, smoking a pipe. ‘Master says you are to skin those rabbits for supper,’ she said with a sneer.
‘Can you not do it?’ said Maeve. ‘I have a guest to look after.’
‘Guest!’ she scoffed. ‘Look here, I’ve much else to do, and Master gave his orders. You’d best jump to it and skin those beasts properly this time. The last ones were ruined.’ Esther got up and handed Maeve two knives, nodding at Lowri. ‘This one here can help. She looks like she knows her way around a blade.’ She stuck the pipe back in with a little clatter against her teeth and took her leave.
Maeve regarded the five limp carcasses with dismay. ‘They live more simply at Graywell than I did at home, so I am put to menial tasks as penance for my sins.’
Lowri felt a stab of pity for strange, talkative Maeve. ‘I do not think it is a punishment. I think it is a necessity. This is not a large holding. There seem to be few servants here.’
‘Aye, it’s not like Kransmuir Fell.’
‘My brother, Peyton, went there once, and said it was a fine place, very grand indeed.’
‘It is a fortress, or a prison, depending on who you are. It was a prison for me, always pressed under my mother’s thumb, so I was.’ Maeve sighed. ‘But now I have exchanged one cage for another. Oh, silly me. I must get on, or there will be snide looks from Esther.’
‘If she is a servant, you should stick up for yourself.’
‘Oh, that is impossible. She has a vicious tongue, and her and Seamus are thick as thieves.’
It seemed they both bullied poor Maeve, and Lowri had a flash of anger for the poor lass, who began to attack the first carcass, clumsily stabbing and tearing at the rabbit skin. She would cut a finger off any minute now.
‘Careful,’ said Lowri. ‘You must gut this fellow cleanly, or you will taint the meat.’
‘I know, but it is disgusting.’
‘Would you like me to help you?
‘Oh, would you?’ said Maeve gleefully.
Lowri took the knife and began to attack the rabbits as Maeve looked on, wincing at the crack of their little leg bones as Lowri tore the skin off them.
‘You do that well,’ she said.
‘Lots of practice. I was a little wild in my youth. I ran away from home many times and had to find food.’
‘Oh.’
‘My brother, Peyton, taught me to use a bow and to hunt. He was good like that. He used to say, ‘No one can be helpless in this life, especially not a woman.’
‘What a strange thing to say. Should your brother not have protected you from life’s ills and kept you safe at home?’
‘He tried to, but I was stubborn and foolhardy, and I…’ Lowri stopped cutting as a sob choked her throat. She leaned on the table to steady herself.
Maeve came up and patted her back. ‘Don’t cry. ‘Tis the same for all of us. Men are beasts most of the time, and we must learn to endure them.’
Lowri turned to Maeve. ‘Are all the Macaulays cruel?’
‘Seamus is not cruel. But he is not kind either. I tried to get him to like me when we were first wed. I used to be able to wrap men around my little finger and get them to do my bidding with a touch on the arm or a shy look. Little things like that go a long way, you know, but not with Seamus. He shuns me, save for once, on our wedding night, that is. I try not to want him, but he is rugged and blessed with a handsome face and a hard body, and so…’ She trailed off.
‘But do you want Seamus for the kind of man he is?’
