‘No bairn is coming yet,’ he said with awful intent. ‘And we are joined beyond the making of a bairn, and you know it. We want each other. Go on, stand there and deny it, and I will leave.’
Rowenna could not find her words. All she could do was stare at his stricken face as her heart threatened to choke her.
Suddenly, Jasper sprang across the bed towards her. Rowenna tried to run, but he had her cornered. He took hold of her gently enough. She could have wriggled free if she wanted, but when his mouth came down on hers, the strength left Rowenna’s legs, and she could only let Jasper kiss her over and over. Heat flooded her loins even as she tried to harden her heart. Let Jasper do what he would, for she would not succumb to wanting him ever again. He could have her body but never her heart.
Jasper threw her onto the bed and fell on top of her. Within moments, he had lifted her skirt and undid his braids, and thenhe plunged inside her, smoothly, groaning. Rowenna bit her lip. Curse it! Now that he was inside her, Jasper would feel her need.
‘You are wet for me, lass,’ he gasped into her hair. ‘You want this as much as me.’
‘No.’
‘Tell me to stop, then.’
But she could not. Jasper rocked inside her, kissing her neck and breasts in a frenzy, and Rowenna longed to cling to him. But she also wanted to tear at his flesh and hurt him, as he had hurt her. She turned her face away as her pleasure built so that Jasper would not see her release, made more violent and intense by her silence. He stiffened against her, holding her close, and gave a shuddering groan into her hair. After a few moments, he rolled off her. It was a bitter release for them both, almost painful.
‘You got what you wanted, so now you may leave,’ she said, holding back tears.
‘This was never what I wanted - this ghost of a woman in my bed.’ He sounded defeated.
A pulse of anger, more with herself than him, forced her to say, ‘You had a ghost of a woman in your bed before you dragged me into it, and her name was Brenna.’
Jasper turned to her so they were belly to belly and grabbed her face, staring into her eyes. ‘The fool I became over Brenna is long dead, and I will be no fool over you, Rowenna. Damn your eyes. I wish I could go back to the time before your treachery. For a while, you made me so happy.’
‘Then forgive me, as I have had to forgive you.’
‘Forgive me for what?’
‘You took me when I did not want to go with you. You lied about Bran. You forced me to marry you.’ She took his hand away from her face, and he let her.
‘Aye, and you had so many more appealing choices of husband, lass. I am the best you can hope for.’
‘I never sought a husband. I never wanted to be a man’s slave and plaything, but that is what I have become because of you. And you have probably lied about looking for Cecily.’
‘I did not. I have sent men out, but your sister is probably as devious as you. She has abandoned you, and you must accept that.’
‘I will not accept it any more than I will endure your scorn. No bairn is coming and ‘tis nought to you if I go. We can be free of each other.’
Jasper sat up, revealing his broad, pale back and the smooth contours of his muscles. His ribs rose and fell as he sighed. ‘Free! How can I be free of you when I love you, lass?’
His words swelled in the silence, looming in the dark chamber as neither spoke.
‘Jasper, you do not know what that means,’ she whispered.
He twisted around to look at her. ‘Do you know what you did, pretending to want me? You wounded my heart. Now it bleeds every time I see you, touch you, even just now, when I was inside you. Knowing that I am not wanted is killing me.’
Tears welled in Rowenna’s eyes and spilt down her cheeks. ‘Don’t you see? That is not true. I do want you, Jasper, but you will never believe me now. You just think I am a liar.’
‘I don’t care if you are,’ he growled. ‘Did I not just say that I loved you? I want you, Rowenna. I miss you when I ride out. I look forward to seeing you when I return.’
Coming from Jasper, that was quite an admission. But she was tired of men manhandling her - always taking, never giving.
‘Is this all we have, Jasper, a passion for each other but no trust or affection?’
‘I’ve a passion for you, alright. It grips me, night and day, like a sweet sickness. And do you really think I have no affection for you? Have we not been as one when we lay together?’
‘There was a time when I thought that.’
‘Then think on it again. Rowenna, I want to trust you, but I have been burned in the past. It is not easy for me.’
