‘Can I not go riding or hunting to ease my boredom? I am good with a crossbow. I can bring meat for the table.’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’ she said, feeling breathless and off balance.
‘Because you will ride away and never come back, and that is all I will say on the matter.’
‘I suppose I should expect nothing less from my jailor,’ said Rowenna.
Jasper sighed. ‘Did you not like the dresses I sent you?’
She would not be deterred by the abrupt change of subject. ‘The dresses are fine, but I cannot ride in them.’
‘Why this obsession with riding?’ he spat.
‘Because I long to see the sky, not idle my days away in this sunless place. I want to feel the wind on my face, smell the firs in the woods and hear bird song.’
‘I will not let you outside these walls.’
‘I will not run, I promise.’
‘Does a MacCreadie’s word even mean anything?’ he said bitterly.
‘Mine does. You must let me outside, for I have kept my part of the bargain.’
Jasper smiled again, but it did not reach his eyes. ‘Not fully,’ he said.
‘But I let you…I gave you my….’
‘Virginity? Our union was cut short, Rowenna.’
‘Not by me,’ she said with her face on fire.
‘By my scruples, then. But no bairn will come from what we did.’
Jasper meant to have her again. The thought was suffocating. Rowenna could not move in the face of his unblinking stare. Her hands started to shake, and she clutched Caitrin tighter.
‘The bairn likes you,’ he said quickly.
‘She likes being held. She does not care who is doing it. Bairns need affection, to feel the closeness and warmth of another body.’
‘Don’t we all?’ he said.
The conversation had taken an unwelcome turn. ‘I must go.’
‘How would you know about bairns and what they need, lass?’ he said.
‘I had two younger brothers and a sister who did not survive many weeks after birth. I held them while I could, while they were on this earth.’
‘I am sorry for it. Truly.’ His face softened, but it was a lie, of course. He did not care for her heartbreak any more than he cared for her freedom.
Rowenna went to place Caitrin in the crib, but Jasper stepped in front of her holding out his arms. ‘Give her to me.’
He cradled the tiny bundle to his chest as though his bairn was made of glass. Jasper looked at his daughter with such tenderness that his face lost its harsh snarl and became almost gut-wrenchingly handsome. Suddenly, Rowenna could see the power he might have over any woman who earned that look. But she doubted any ever would, other than his daughter.
Jasper looked up suddenly. ‘Is she not the bonniest lass in the Marches, my daughter?’
‘Aye, she is.’
