‘How could I forget, and I meant my heart, Rawden.’
‘That, I can understand. Neither of us has a trusting nature, and I have a wicked past to drag behind me. Yet, it does not have to be this way. This is your home now. Spend my money, make it what you will, and enjoy yourself for a change. I will return in a few weeks, by which time, I hope you will have become accustomed to your newfound freedom.’
‘When are you going?’ she said evenly.
‘In a day or two,’ he said, watching to see where his words landed. But he saw no relief on her face, or sadness. He could not read anything but indifference as Grace looked down at her book again. Yet how could he leave her behind, all alone in a dark old house with only the servants for company? And why do it? Because he feared a wound to his pride when he failed to win her approval? But surely he could bear it, and what harm was there in trying?
‘Why not take a walk about the grounds and the house? I will show you all the best spots for finding solitude and shady glades for reading your dusty old Homer on a summer’s day.’ With that, he tore the book from Grace’s hands and tossed it aside.
***
Why had she let him bully her into coming?
Grace cast furtive glances at Rawden as they walked along a narrow path through the woods surrounding Marshgrave. The sun winking through the trees shone on his jet-black hair, and his hand over hers, where it snaked through his arm, was warm and firm. How long his fingers were, and how heavy his hand, dwarfing her own. Rawden was so tall, towering over her, but she was beginning to feel less nervous in his presence since he had revealed a little of himself. No one would dispute his dazzling good looks, and if he were consistently charming, which he was not, then he would be the ruin of any woman’s heart. And yet this man now belonged to her, or so the law and the church would have it. What was she to do with him?
Would he go away tomorrow or the day after? If he truly belonged to her, he would not be able to. What was this devilish disappointment clawing at her breast at his apparent indifference? What a fool she was to want him to renew his attentions to her after what he had kept secret. She could be no ninny who trusted in him after that awful mistress of his had laid bare his sins.
‘There are many walks around Marshgrave, though do not stray too far, for the weather can be very wild at times. Trees come down, and the path becomes mired in mud.’ Rawden spoke suddenly, looking down into her face.
Grace was wrenched out of her dark thoughts and looked up to see the sky matching them as purple clouds skidded across the sun. It threatened to rain all of a sudden.
‘Do you like your room?’ he asked.
‘Oh, yes,’ she said more enthusiastically than she intended. ‘It is charming, and I should like to renovate the house as you said so that it might one day accommodate guests most comfortably, should you invite any.’
‘We will see,’ he said.
Grace had the feeling she had displeased him. ‘I should think many of the rooms would have stirring views over the water.’
‘I can think of more stirring views than this mouldy old pile of bricks,’ he said, and his meaning sent heat up her neck and into her cheeks.
She took a deep breath, for she had to ask. ‘Rawden, the dresses in the wardrobe, were they for me?’
‘Who else would they be for?’ he said with a frown.
‘When did you get them?’
‘I had them made by the same dressmaker who made your wedding dress. She had your measurements, so when she sent her bill, I decided to pay her a visit.’
Grace felt a lump in her throat at his kindness, and renewed guilt at running away in anger. ‘That is very generous. Thank you.’
‘I’ll say. That woman’s bill was huge. And it is nothing, Grace. I can hardly let my bride go naked, can I,’ he said, staring into her eyes with that intensity which weakened her knees. He smirked. ‘Though now I come to think of it, that might have been a better plan. Let us return them all.’
Goodness, that smile would weaken the strongest of knees. Grace took her hand from Rawden’s arm, hoping he was teasing and willing herself to be strong. ‘No, I will not return them, for they are finer than I have ever owned. And that is a shocking reply, by the way.’
‘It is an honest one.’
Grace had to look away from him as a surge of longing took hold. If Rawden kissed her now, she would not mind it. But he did not. He scuffed the earth with his foot, eyes fixed on the ground. Grace felt the need to build bridges with the handsome man who was now her husband. There had to be a way forward for the two of them.
‘Rawden, I am sorry for running and shaming you before Harriet and Gilbert. It was not my intention to do that.'
‘Oh, that is by no means the worst humiliation I have suffered. And my reputation can bear it, for it is already damaged beyond repair.’
‘But you were so very angry in the carriage.’
‘I was concerned for your welfare, but it came out as anger. As I said, Caville Sharp frequents that household and it is best you never find yourself at his mercy. He has a nose for weakness and a cruel disposition.’
‘But once that woman, Romola, came, I thought you would not care that I had gone. I thought you would be glad to be rid of an unwanted burden.’
