Instead, he kept his distance, sensing some disquiet in her tone. ‘It does not surprise me that Clara blackened my character. She is offended that I spurned her, I suppose.’
‘Oh, I am sure that your vanity is pricked by her not wanting you. Yet I think she will be happy with Jasper. They seem well-suited.’ Maren took a bite of her apple and stared into his eyes. There was a penetrating look to hers. ‘Your father is a reasonable man, Bryce. So tell me, what did you do to make him issue you an ultimatum to wed?’
The ground seemed to shift beneath his feet. ‘Leave it be, Maren,’ he said.
‘I wish to know. Did you get someone with child? Did you gamble away your inheritance?’
‘No. But I did disgrace the Cullan name and cause quite the scandal.’
‘And was the scandal that you shot an innocent man?’ she said throwing her apple away.
All the breath seemed to leave his body at once. ‘What do you know of it?’ he said.
‘Not much. Clara let slip something about an old man you shot, who almost died.’
The wind rustled the leaves of the trees. It sounded like whispers snaking around a room, hissed from behind cupped hands into eager, scandalised ears. He recalled the shame, the disapproving looks, and his face heated.
‘I told you all my darkest secrets, Bryce,’ said Maren, with a warning in her voice.
‘All?’ he said, in a rush.
Her face did not change a bit. ‘Aye, and now you must tell me yours. What have you been hiding?’
Bryce bit his lip and looked away from Maren up at Penhallion and beyond to the hills.
‘It was a duel, lass, and I did not enter it with murder in my heart. I did not try to kill the man facing me. In fact, I tried very hard not to.’
‘Tell me, Bryce.’
‘There was a woman I fell for. Millicent. She was red-haired and bonnie with a lust for life and a wayward nature.’
‘Did you love her?’ said Maren, her voice hard and searing.
‘I don’t know if it was love, but I was smitten, at least. And then came an early morning by a loch with muskets drawn, which will haunt me forever.’
‘A duel? Did he challenge, or you?’
‘He did. I had not met Millicent’s husband before, and I was shocked when I did. Silas Cranstoun was old and frail. I remember his hair scraped across his balding pate. I could see the pale flesh of his scalp through it. At first, I thought him repulsive, all withered flesh and liver-spotted hands. How could Millicent bear him, I asked myself? And the poor fool was so frail he could barely totter into position and hold his musket out in front of him. He fired first, out of nervousness, I suppose, and his shot went wide. It might have found my heart if luck had not been on my side. I would have deserved it too.’
‘Surely not,’ said Maren, with a frown. ‘If the lass was young, and him an old lecher, then….’
‘Ah, but I fear he was no lecher. I think he genuinely loved Millicent, and he took pride in her. I think Silas fully intended to kill me that day because when his shot missed, I said it was all over and that I would not fire. I will never forget what he said. ‘You may set aside your honour when you feel like it, but I am here today to defend mine with my life. You have wronged my dear wife and me, and I want satisfaction, even unto the grave.’
‘I don’t want to kill you, old man,’ I said.
‘Then you have no love for Millicent if you will not kill for her,’ he replied. ‘It is the only way you can be with her, for if you miss, I intend to outlive you, smug little bastard that you are.’
‘I kept insisting that we leave it there, but his second said the rules of engagement had not been satisfied, and Silas had a right to see it through because I had cuckolded him. And Silas would not leave it be. On and one, he droned, and I just wanted to be gone, for he shamed me so.’
‘I am standing here this cold morn prepared to go to my death for the pride and honour of my house,’ said he. ‘I’ll not leave here a pathetic cuckold for folk to snigger at. Can you boast the same passion for what is good and right, eh, lad? Take your best shot, pup, and end me and be sure to aim true. I want no favours from a petty, indolent wastrel such as yourself. I intend to haunt your conscience until you die, lad.’
‘And what happened. Did you shoot at him?’
‘Aye, even though I wanted nothing more than to mount my horse and ride away. And I truly meant to miss, but his words had affected me, and the wind picked up. Maybe it carried the shot to him. I don’t know how, but I hit him in the shoulder. I will never forget the surprise on his face and the sound he made, an explosion of air from his lungs as he hit the ground in a tangled heap of old bones, his face going blue. At that moment, I hated myself, truly.’
‘So you killed an old man to have his wife?’
‘Aye, look at me with disgust, lass, for I deserve it. But no, Silas did not die. He hovered between life and death for weeks when the wound got infected. But in the end, I think he refused to go to God just to spite me. And Millicent was sure he would pass. She was eager for it, holding her breath, hoping he would breathe his last. Any affection I had for her died instead of him. I realised that she had married an old man for his money, and was amusing herself with me while she waited for Silas to die.’
