Alfie glances at his watch. ‘Shit, I hadn’t realized the time. I should probably get to the shop. Only if you’re OK, though?’
‘I am. Thank you. I should probably get back to running.’
‘Are you sure? I can stay if you need me to.’
‘No, it’s OK. I actually feel like running now. Sorry for making you late.’
‘Don’t apologize, it’s fine. And if you ever want to talk again – about anything – you’re always welcome at the shop. Or if you just want to sit and read – the shop isn’t just for when you need to collect a book or choose something new. The door is always open. Well, metaphorically speaking. I do sleep occasionally. And not at the shop.’
He smiles then, and she smiles back.
‘Thank you. I appreciate the metaphorical door. And you listening to me.’
He fixes her with his brown eyes.
‘Any time.’
He can’t help it.
Before Alfie pedals out of sight he cranes to look over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of Tilly’s wavy ginger ponytail swinging and her pale arms pumping with a determination that makes his lips twitch into a smile. She doesn’t turn to look back. Of course she doesn’t.
‘Hey, watch where you’re going!’
Alfie swerves just in time to miss the oncoming dog walker. For the second time that morning he narrowly avoids ending up in the canal.
When Tilly arrives home she composes an email to her mother-in-law before she can change her mind.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Joe’s memorial
Dear Ellen,
I’m sorry that I haven’t been in touch for a while.
A lot has happened for me over the past few months. I recently left my job at Splash, having decided to take some time out. I went to Paris in April and have been enjoying learning to cook thanks to a Delia Smith cookbook. And, inspired by Joe, I’m getting back into running and have even signed up for a half-marathon in October. I wanted to do something to honour him.
Thank you for the invitation to join you for Joe’s anniversary. I really appreciate you including me. I think for this first one I need to be on my own, though. I’ll be thinking of you all on the day.
I hope you, Hank and the rest of the family are well.
Tilly
*
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Joe’s memorial
Understood about the memorial. Would you like to come another time? There are things it would be good to talk to you about that might be better to discuss in person. How about August – for Joe’s birthday? We’d love to have you. Ellen x
Tilly reads the email twice. Her natural instinct is to put Ellen off again and to stay as far away as possible from the house in Connecticut that holds so many memories. But then she thinks back to her conversation with Alfie by the canal. Maybe going back and seeing Joe’s family again will help Tilly get closure.
It will be hard to be in the house again and to hear whatever it is that Ellen has to say. But Tilly has done hard things. The past eighteen months have been full of things she never thought she would survive. And yet she’s still here.
