‘And this?’
He gestures between them.
She takes a steadying breath.
‘I like to think it’s just getting started?’
As they reach for one another, the trees above them dip their branches down into the water, making it feel as though it’sjust the two of them in the world, as if this place is theirs and all its problems have for a moment disappeared.
CHAPTER 51
‘Kate. It’s good to see you.’ Brian looks exhausted as he opens the front door, but he manages a smile for Kate that makes her reach out and pull him into a tight hug. All the way here, she’s been thinking about what it would mean if her mum and stepfather really are separating. Brian has been in her life for nearly twenty years, a quiet man who has never taken up much space and always steps back to allow the three of them to be the Mathews Girls, even after all these years. But the idea of life without him still feels strange and wrong, like trying to picture a house without doors and windows.
He lets himself be hugged back and Kate takes an inhale of his bookish smell and lets her fingers feel the familiar scratch of one of the wool jumpers that he always wears, despite it being the start of summer. He might be quiet, but he has always been there, a reliable, solid presence in her life.
‘Your mum and sister are through here,’ he says, leading her through to the living room, where she sees her mum and sisterseated side by side on the sofa. Her mum’s hair is pulled back in a clip and her face is free of make-up for once.
Erin looks just as confused and anxious as Kate feels and as she looks up, they share a questioning look with one another. Kate feels a rush of love and gratitude for her sister, knowing that whatever is about to happen, she won’t be facing it alone.
Kate joins them on the sofa, her mum in the middle, while Brian busies himself pouring everyone cups of tea.
‘Hello, darling,’ Miriam says softly. ‘It’s good to see you.’
‘You too, Mum. But is everything OK?’
‘Yes, Mum, what’s going on?’ asks Erin.
Kate glances at Brian, trying to get a sense of what’s happening from his face, but his expression is unreadable as he focuses on pouring from the teapot and carefully stirring in the milk. She looks quickly around the room too, trying to find any signs that her suspicions about their relationship might be right. But his books are still on the shelves alongside her mother’s and there is no suitcase in the hallway like she remembers from when her father left when she was very small.
As Brian hands round the mugs of tea, Kate notices that his hands are shaking.
‘Go on, love,’ he says, looking up at Miriam. His voice cracks slightly and in the splinter it hits Kate that maybe she has been very wrong about all of this. ‘You need to tell them.’
Their mother takes a faltering breath.
‘Brian’s right. I need to tell you something.’ Her voice trembles and she glances at Brian, who has sat down in the armchair facing them all.
He gives a little nod. She returns the nod and then turns back to Kate and Erin.
‘A couple of weeks ago, I found a lump.’
Without saying anything, both Kate and Erin reach out for their mother’s hands.
The words repeat themselves in Kate’s mind, over and over.A lump. A lump. It doesn’t feel quite real. She doesn’t want it to be real. But the sofa is firm beneath her, the sound of the clock on the wall making it impossible to imagine this is all some hallucination and she is not sitting here with her family, hearing something she hoped she would never have to hear.
Erin is the first to speak.
‘A couple of weeks ago? Mum, why didn’t you say anything?’
Kate squeezes her mum’s hand tightly, thinking she might possibly never let go.
‘I didn’t want to worry you. You both have so much going on, especially with Rosie being so little …’
The events of the past few weeks come back to Kate in a flash. The way her mum fell quiet on their WhatsApp chat and stopped coming by to visit so much … At the time, Kate thought it was because her mum was putting in boundaries because Kate had been demanding too much of her time. How could she have been so focused on her own problems that it didn’t even enter her mind that her mum might be dealing with something so huge?
‘Oh Mum. I hate the thought that you’ve been dealing with this on your own.’
Her mum glances across the coffee table then. ‘Well, I haven’t been on my own. Brian has been so supportive. Hetold me I should tell you both, but I didn’t want to burden you. I’m sorry if it’s made me seem distant. I just worried that if I saw you or we chatted too much, then it all might come spilling out and I didn’t want to put you both through that.’
