Emma and Leonie share a look. Leonie is the first to speak. ‘But, Kate, that’s exactly what we’ve been worried about too. Ever since you announced you were pregnant, we’ve been so happy for you – I mean, how could you not make the cutest baby ever? – but then you told us you were moving too …’
‘And we do get it,’ chips in Emma. ‘You wanted more space and to be close to your family. And Farleigh-on-Avon issocute. But we’re still here. And we miss you.’
‘I miss you too,’ she manages to get out. ‘I think I haven’t let myself acknowledge quite how much because I know that I was the one who chose all this. But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.’
‘You are happy you moved, though? It was the right choice?’
Kate pictures her little cottage that might be a mess and not at all like the Pinterest board she made for herself when she moved but that is still hers, with its garden full of flowers and an apple tree that will make the perfect spot for a swing andmaybe a treehouse when Rosie is older. She thinks of the river bordered by reeds and bluebells.
‘I’m getting there. But yes, I think it’s where I need to be for this stage of my life. I loved my time in London, but I think now it was maybe just one chapter, not the whole story. But my life will always have you both in it. I don’t want us to lose what we have.’
‘Babe,’ says Leonie, placing a hand over Kate’s, ‘you can’t get rid of us just because you had a baby.’
‘Yeah, it would take more than that.’
‘Like my daughter ruining your wedding dress?’
They share a laugh. ‘Seriously, chill, Kate. The dress is fine.We’refine.’
‘How can we make sure you still feel included even if you’re not here?’ asks Leonie.
Kate thinks about it for a moment. ‘I’d like to still be invited to things, even if I can’t make them. I might have to say no to a lot of things for a while. But one day I’ll be able to say yes again. And when that happens, I guess I just want to feel I can jump back in rather than feeling I’m on the outside of things.’
‘We can do that.’
‘And how about you two? What can I do to make you feel less like I’m leaving you behind?’
It breaks her heart to even think it.
‘How about we try to have a regular video call once every couple of weeks?’ suggests Emma. ‘Even if we all end up being busy and can’t make it, it would just be nice to at least try to have a regular catch-up.’
‘I think that’s a great idea.’
Kate’s phone pings, telling her the platform number for her train. ‘I better go.’
They squeeze each other tightly, and as Kate holds them for a final time before heading back to her new life in Somerset, she thinks about how much has changed but how much is still the same too. These women and how much she loves them … That is never going to change.
CHAPTER 37
Phoebe and her father head back to the car park through the sand dunes, holding their shoes in their hands and with hair damp and salty from the sea. It had felt so good to swim together and then lie on the sand, warming up in the sun. At one point, Phoebe had glanced across at her father as he shielded his face from the sun with his hand, a smile spread across his face and his eyes half closed. And she’d thought how he didn’t look like Sad Dad, or even Normal Dad. He looked like Happy Dad.
Then his phone rang and he reached for it quickly. ‘Right,’ he said, letting out a sigh. ‘We’ll meet you there.’
Phoebe’s heart was hammering in her chest as he hung up and turned to her.
‘Your nan is awake. Come on, let’s go.’
Swimming is one thing, but Phoebe is not a runner. The last time she ran was probably as a kid when Seth chased her about with a toy tarantula, trying to scare her. But when they reach the hospital, she runs to her grandmother’s ward, ignoring the looks from passing nurses and doctors. As she runs, she remembers why she doesn’t do it, one arm held tightly over her chest because her bra absolutely does not offer enough support for this. But she doesn’t care.
She arrives at the ward a sweaty mess. She spots her mum first, sitting by the bedside with tears rolling down her face. But she’s smiling. Seth is there too, not in his suit like last time, but in his weekend gear of jeans and hoody. And then Phoebe sees her nan, propped up in bed and holding her mother’s hands, her eyes open and a faint smile on her face too.
‘Nan!’
Phoebe stumbles into the room, crouching down at the bedside and reaching for her grandmother’s free hand. She lifts it up to her mouth and kisses it, relieved to feel how warm it is. Her face looks tired, but she is here.
‘Are you OK? I’ve been so worried about you.’
Her nan goes to speak, but only a croak comes out. Phoebe’s mum hands her a cup of water and she takes a sip, her hand shaking slightly.
