‘Thanks, Phoebe. I think I needed to hear that.’
‘And I needed to offload. I don’t often talk about work stuff. Thanks for listening.’
‘It’s a pleasure. I imagine you do your fair share of listening in your job. But you need to be able to talk too. And if you ever feel like doing it again, you know where I am. You have my number from the WhatsApp group.’
‘Thanks, Kate,’ Phoebe says, her eyes growing misty.
‘I really mean it too.’
‘I know.’ Phoebe takes a deep breath and reaches for a slice of prosciutto. ‘So, do you think you’re going to start swimming regularly with the group?’
‘Yes,’ Kate says with a smile. She’s already talked to Jayabout it and he’s agreed to look after Rosie in the mornings so she can go. He was delighted, in fact. ‘I don’t think I’m really myself when I don’t swim. Jazz was onto something when she said outdoor swimming should be prescribed on the NHS.’
‘Hmm,’ says Phoebe, a light appearing in her eyes. ‘That’s actually really interesting …’
At that moment, Rosie begins to cry. Kate rocks the pram back and forth with her foot and checks the time on her phone.
‘I should probably get back and get her to bed, if you don’t mind?’
‘That’s fine. I’m ready for bed too.’
‘I know that feeling,’ Kate says with a laugh. ‘I’m always ready for bed at the moment. Anyway, I’m really glad we did this.’
‘Me too.’
They hug one another with more warmth than might be expected from two people who were strangers at the start of the day.
‘See you soon,’ Kate says as she puts down some money for her share of the food and waves goodbye, hoping that it will turn out to be true.
As she pushes Rosie back towards home, she takes long, steady breaths. Everything that she has been worrying about is still there, but she feels a new lightness since speaking the words out loud to Jay. She realises that the reason she took so long to open up to him was because she was terrified of him judging her as a terrible mother. But now she wonders if the only person who has really been judging her is herself. Her conversation with Phoebe has helped too, giving her a new perspective on the situation with her friends.
She adjusts her grip on the pram so that she is manoeuvring it with one hand. In the other, she grabs her phone and starts looking up train tickets to London.
CHAPTER 28
‘The food really was fantastic,’ Phoebe says once she and Luca are alone in the deli. She’s pretty certain she’s going to be dreaming about this food for weeks. The wine might also have something to do with her inhibitions dropping in front of her new neighbour.
‘Really?’ Luca asks, his face lighting up as he turns from the counter, where he’d been vigorously stirring a glass bowl of a creamy-looking liquid that fills the shop with the scent of lemon and vanilla.
All throughout her conversation with Kate, Phoebe had been aware of Luca’s presence in the kitchen or pottering about in the shop rearranging things on the shelves, even if she really didn’t want to care. Now that his attention is focused entirely on her, she feels her neck growing warm. Wine. It must be the wine.
‘Yeah. Really, really good.’
‘Did you like the olives?’ he asks excitedly. ‘I spent ages finding a Sicilian supplier who does the absolute best Nocellara ones out there. In my opinion anyway. I don’t understand how anyone couldnotlike olives, but some people … I always think it’s because they haven’t had very good olives. Saying you don’t like olives is like saying you don’t like fruit – there are so many different kinds.’
He trips over his words, as though his mouth can’t keep up with his enthusiasm. His voice is bright with excitement, making him seem suddenly younger, and his hands gesture wildly. It makes her look a little more closely, noticing that his eyes are closer to caramel than hazelnut – if you were going to be precise about it.
‘They were great. What’s this?’ she asks, pointing to one of the final slices of cured ham that remains on the board to distract herself from analysing the exact shade of his eyes. Jesus, maybe shehashad one glass too many! ‘I’ve never had anything like it.’
‘I love that one. It’s a Crudo di Cuneo from the foot of the Alps. It’s been cured for ten months, which is what gives it that amazing flavour. Look at that distribution of fat, isn’t it beautiful?’
‘Um, I guess so …’
‘Sorry. I can get a bit carried away when I talk about food.’
‘Don’t apologise. It’s nice to see someone who’s passionate about what they do. What’s that you’re making?’ she asks, gesturing to the bowl.
‘Sweet ricotta filling for tomorrow’s cannoli. They were my favourites growing up. My mum’s ones are the absolute best.I’m doing a batch of chocolate chip, one of pistachio and a lemon and vanilla. I was up late last night trying a few alterations to Mum’s recipe, although I’m not sure I’ve perfected it quite yet. Hey, could you try some of the filling and let me know what you think?’
