‘Luca nearly killed us in the river the other day,’ says Phoebe. ‘He has apologised, although I’m not certain if he means it.’
‘And I’m not certain Phoebe has forgiven me.’
‘We’re neighbours,’ Phoebe explains, gesturing above her head. ‘I live just upstairs.’
‘Oh! That must be pretty great, having somewhere like this right on your doorstep. It’s a lovely place, even nicer inside than it looks from the street.’
Luca’s cheeks colour and he runs a hand through his dark hair. ‘Thank you. I’m not sure I’ve been the best neighbour so far …’
‘Awful,’ Phoebe replies and Luca raises an eyebrow.
As Kate watches the way Phoebe and Luca look at one another, she desperately wants to question Phoebe about the clearsomethingthat’s going on between them but decides to hold back. They don’t know each other well yet.
‘Anyway, I’ll leave you both to it. Enjoy.’
Once he’s gone, Kate takes another sip of her glass of wine, noticing as she does that Phoebe has already poured herself another large glass.
‘It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate,’ Kate says gently once they are alone again, Luca back in the kitchen and the rest of the tables in the deli empty. ‘I think it’s amazing what you do. But it’s a lot of responsibility. It must be heavy to carry sometimes.’
Kate’s phone buzzes in her pocket.
‘Do you mind?’ she asks, gesturing to her phone.
‘Go ahead,’ mumbles Phoebe, her mouth filled with cheese.
As Kate reads, she lets out a sigh, a frown creasing her forehead.
‘What is it?’
‘It’s my work friends …’ Kate explains about Emma’s wedding dress shopping trip and how she was left off the invite list. ‘I know it sounds silly when I say it all out loud. But I still feel hurt. Leonie just sent me another message with a reminder of the address of the dress shop and time of the appointment. It’s on Saturday.’
‘And you’re still not going?’
‘I don’t know …’
‘Do you want to be there?’
Kate pictures Emma stepping out of a changing room wearing a white dress and the inhale of breath she justknowsshe would take seeing her friend looking so beautiful but, most importantly, so happy.
‘Of course I do. She’s one of my best friends.’
‘So, I think you have your answer then.’
‘It sounds so simple when you say it.’
Kate watches as Phoebe takes another slug of wine and twists her red hair around her finger.
‘Maybe it is? They’re your mates. They obviously love you and I doubt they meant to hurt you.’
‘Maybe you’re right … I miss them.’
‘And maybe they miss you too?’
‘Hmm, I hadn’t thought of it like that. I guess I just keep picturing them going to work together and having drinks and things and I feel like I’m on the outside.’ And it’s not just now.When she returns to work after her maternity leave, she will only be in the London office one day a week, working remotely the rest of the time. It feels as if one chapter of their friendship is over forever.
‘But you’re having this whole new life too,’ Phoebe says, gesturing towards the pram. ‘I’ve never been certain if I want kids or not, but I still remember feeling left behind when my brother had his first. Then his second. I love being an aunty but sometimes when I look at my brother and his family, I feel like he’s part of this whole different world and belongs to a club I’m not invited to. Your friends might feel that way too.’
It shocks Kate to realise she hadn’t even thought of it like that before. How has she got so caught up in her own worries that she hasn’t put herself in her friends’ shoes? And now, by not responding to their messages, she might have pushed them away for good.
