Phoebe grabs her helmet and clips her feet back into herboots, her mind already racing with the day’s appointments and her worries for each of her patients. It feels as though the swim in the river was a brief holiday and she has come crashing back to reality. Her first appointment of the day is with a new patient. She absolutely can’t be late.
‘Sounds great!’ she says brightly. ‘It was so nice to meet you all and thanks again for getting me in the water!’ But even as she says it, she isn’t sure if she’ll really make it back. As much as she enjoyed the swim, she can’t escape the reality of her responsibilities. She might have set them down on the riverbank for a while, but they are back again now, weighing heavily on her shoulders.
She waves a hasty goodbye and then races off across the meadow.
As soon as she climbs onto her motorbike and speeds off in the direction of her first patient, she leaves Just Phoebe behind, ready to become Nurse Harrison again.
CHAPTER 14
‘How was the mum and baby group?’ Jay asks when Kate arrives home, having taken the long route back to the village along the river path. The walk has sent Rosie to sleep and her arms and legs dangle limply out of the sides of the carrier.
‘Not great,’ replies Kate, struggling to kick off her shoes without disturbing Rosie. ‘It was kind of weird – all the other mums introduced their babies but not themselves.’
‘Hmm, that does sound weird.’
‘It was as though they’d forgotten they existed too and it made me feel pretty awkward when I went right ahead and said my own name. They were all perfectly nice, but it just didn’t feel like my crowd.’
‘I’m sorry it wasn’t what you were hoping for. I thought it might be a nice chance to make some new friends.’
‘Yeah, me too.’
‘I’m sure there will be other groups you could try, though.’
Kate knows he means mum and baby groups – maybe a music class or baby sign language or something – but all she can think about is the poster advertising the river swimming club.
‘Hmm, maybe …’
‘I know you miss your friends in London, but you will settle in here. You just need to give it time.’
‘I know. And I’m sorry, I know it was me who persuaded you to move here with me.’
It’s something she thinks about all the time. On days when she misses London so badly it’s like a toothache, she sharply reminds herself that she chose this. All of it.
‘Hey, I know I was reluctant at first, but we made this decision together. And I’m loving having my studio to work on, I’m really excited about how it’s coming together. We haven’t been here for long. It will start feeling like home soon.’
‘I’m sure you’re right.’
It’s only once her shoes are off and she’s hung her jacket on the coat rack that she notices the pile of Jay’s camera bags in the hallway.
‘Oh, it’s your shoot today. I’d forgotten.’
‘Yeah, I wanted to wait until you got back so I could say goodbye, but I should really get going now. I’ll be back around seven. Are you sure you’re going to be OK on your own?’
‘I’ll be fine,’ Kate replies with a forced smile. ‘I had to do this eventually.’
Jay reaches for his bags but stops before picking them up, glancing over at Kate with a serious expression on his face. ‘I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you both.’ His voicesounds strained and it hits Kate that perhaps Jay has been dreading this day just as much as she has. She can’t help but think that if she were in his position, she’d be running out that door.
‘Everything’s going to be fine, honestly,’ she says, as much to herself as to him. ‘I’m going to take Rosie to the supermarket – we’re nearly out of nappies and bread. And chocolate.’
‘Essential items, then.’
‘Exactly. Now you really should go, otherwise you’ll miss your train.’
‘OK. I love you, both of you.’
He lingers for longer in their kiss than Kate was expecting. She tenses as his lips soften open. What is wrong with her? She used to love nothing more than kissing him, but recently her skin has prickled every time he has reached out to touch her. After what feels like a reasonable amount of time, she lets herself pull away. If Jay notices her unease, then he does his best to hide it.
‘OK then, sweetie,’ he says, leaning to kiss Rosie’s cheek. ‘You look after your mum. I’ll miss you, both of you.’
