Can that really be true? Flashes of memories come back to me. Someone carrying me upstairs, my feet bumping on the wall. Who was it, Mallachy? My brother? I look over at Jack again in the armchair in the corner. How long has he been sitting there? I suddenly remember waking in the night and seeing a shape in the corner, a body curled up in this chair.
Alice steps forwards and places her tray down on the bedside table. ‘It’s so good to see you awake. It’s been a while since you had anything to eat or drink. The pot’s nice and hot.’
She pours from the teapot, adds two sugars and hands me the steaming mug. Wrapping my hands around it I feel sensation returning to my fingertips, warmth spreading through my body.
‘We don’t have a doctor on the island, of course,’ says Alice. ‘But Ben is the island’s first-responder and has extensive first-aid training. He came to check on you yesterday and again earlier this morning. Your temperature is doing much better so he doesn’t think you need to go to hospital, you just need to rest and stay warm.’
‘I hope you’re feeling OK, Auntie Lorna,’ says Molly, looking up somewhat nervously from the end of the bed. Like Ella, she looks surprisingly OK despite the events of yesterday.
Jack throws her a severe look.
‘Now that you’ve seen her you can go back to your room.’
Molly lowers her head and tiptoes away without making a fuss.
‘She’s grounded,’ says Jack, turning back to me. ‘And probably will be until she’s eighteen. I still can’t believe how stupid they were.’
I feel Ella flinch beside me.
‘Thank you for the tea, Alice. And thank you both for taking care of me. But is it OK if I have a moment alone with Ella?’
Alice adjusts the cushions behind me and places a hand on my forehead. Then she nods and disappears out the door.
‘Fine,’ says Jack. ‘But I’ll be back in a bit to check on you.’
His tone is gruff, but the deep indentation in the armchair as he stands up to leave tells me all I really need to know. I remember for a second the argument we had at our childhood home. His words still ring inside my head but the argument also feels a long time ago now. So much has happened since.
Once the others are gone Ella sits up next to me in the bed, hugging her knees into her chest. Before I can say anything, she lets out a sob.
‘I’m so sorry, Mum. I know what we did was really stupid. And it’s my fault that you’re unwell. I’m so sorry.’
I look across at her and her dark eyes throw me off balance. It’s hard to believe after that terrible boat ride through the storm that Ella is really here in front of me and that she is well and safe. A cough rattles inside my chest and I pause for a moment, unable to speak. Once the coughing has subsided, my body aching from the effort, I turn to my daughter again. She watches me anxiously.
‘I was so frightened,’ I tell her, my throat sore as I speak. ‘I’ve never been so terrified in all my life.’
‘I know.’
‘You have to promise me never to do anything like that again. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you, Ella. You’re everything to me, I hope you know that.’
Ella nods her head, biting her bottom lip.
‘I know.’
I sink back into the pillows, suddenly exhausted.
‘Can I get you anything?’ she asks.
I shake my head. Enough talking for now. I need to sleep. Ella rearranges the blankets on the bed and smooths my hair back with her hand, just like I’ve always done for her when she’s been unwell.
The door opens and Jack peers inside.
‘Your mum needs to sleep,’ he says to Ella, his voice softer than when he spoke to Molly earlier. ‘But you can come and check on her again soon, OK?’
She nods, kisses me on the cheek again and heads for the door.
‘But we’ll talk properly soon,’ I say to her. I need to talk to her about Ruby and Farah, and the argument we had before she ran away. We need to talk again about going home. But for now, I’m not going anywhere.
Ella disappears and Jack steps inside and resumes his position in the armchair.
