There’s a clatter of wood meeting wood and I can’t help but look over now. A single oar is pulled out of the sea anddragged on board. I feel a warmth on my shoulder. Mallachy is there, his hand resting on my arm.
‘I can take over now,’ he says and I step quickly away, joining Jack and Alice by the lost oar.
‘It might not be theirs,’ Jack says quickly.
‘No,’ I reply. But I’m not so sure. Alice covers her mouth with her hand and says nothing.
‘Mallachy, what do you think?’
He doesn’t look at me. And that terrifies me.
‘I think we should get to the island. It’s getting closer, look.’
He’s right. The island still looks far away, but it’s growing gradually larger, the grey shapes of the old crofters’ cottages now visible in the fields. I strain my eyes for any sign of the girls. But there’s nothing. Ben’s boat is nowhere to be seen. Could they really have made it this far in his small boat with just one oar between them? I look down into the black, swirling water and an icy fist clutches my heart.
I have spent my life haunted by nightmares. But I suddenly don’t know why I was ever afraid of the visions that visited me at night. Those were nothing compared to this. I stand on the edge of the boat by the railings, wanting to cry my daughter’s name into the wind.
Suddenly the boat lunges violently on a wave that rears up from underneath us. I’m thrown forward against the railing, the air winded from my body. Gripping my stomach with my hands, I take a gasping breath.
‘Are you OK?’ comes Alice’s voice over the wind. But now another wave hits, even stronger than the first. I lurch forwards but this time the rail doesn’t break my fall, I’m thrown up and over, grabbing out for the side of the boat with my hands. But all they meet is air and then darkness as I plunge into the sea. It’s cold. It’s so cold. My mouth is still open and I swallow seawater, choking on the salty brine. Darkness and a battering of churning waves. And then my life jacket does its job and I burst up into open air. I take a deep breath but another wave slaps into my face, making me swallow another lungful of water.
‘Lorna!’
I flail around me, reaching out for the side of the boat. But I must have been pushed around by the waves because I’m not as close as I should be. My eyes are so filled with salt water that I can’t quite make out the boat or who it is calling to me, but I recognise the voice.
‘Lorna, I’m throwing you a lifebelt,’ shouts my brother, so loud his voice cracks, hoarse and broken.
I hear Mallachy’s voice and Alice’s too but I can’t make out what they are saying. All I can hear is my brother shouting my name.
‘Lorna, it’s coming now, watch out.’
But just as I hear a splashing sound and catch a flash of orange a little way ahead, another wave rolls over and I’m pushed momentarily back under again, down into the darkness. More salt water in my mouth, my nose, pressing against my ears. For a second, I am pinned under the surface, waves rushing over me, but then I break up to the surface again. I look around wildly, disorientated. My eyes sting so much it hurts to open them.
‘Over there Lorna, you’re so close!’
There it is. A burst of orange in the grey sea. I kick frantically towards it, using all my strength to push against the waves. The lifebelt is smooth under my hands and I grab on tightly.
‘I’ve got it!’ I yell.
‘OK, we’re pulling you in. Just hold on tight.’
I’m exhausted but don’t let myself loosen my grip on the orange plastic as I’m tugged through the waves and towards the boat. As I draw closer I can make out the figures leaning over the side. Jack and Alice, pulling together on the line. Mallachy is behind them, focused on keeping the boat steady.
‘Have you got her? Have you got her?’ I hear him say. Beside him Rex barks and barks.
I’m by the side of the boat now and Jack and Alice are reaching their arms towards me.
‘Yes, we’ve got her,’ says my brother as I hold onto them both and they drag me up, sodden and exhausted, into the boat. I can barely stand but Alice has her arms tightly around me, not seeming to care that I am soaking her.
‘Oh, thank god,’ she says as she holds me. ‘Thank god you’re OK.’
I break apart from them both, coughing and wiping my face.
‘There are blankets in the compartment under the seats,’ says Mallachy. ‘I’ve got to get us through this but help yourself. It’s important to keep her warm.’
Rex lunges at me, tongue lolling, and I pull him towards me, holding his warm body against mine as Jack and Alice disappear for a second into the galley.
‘God you scared me there. Are you all right?’ says Mallachy. His face is fixed on mine, his green eyes shining.
