The truth is, I’m still pissed about the age thing, but I also wish we could put it behind us. My life’s less colorful without you in it, and I miss the way we used to talk about anything and everything, all those random facts you used to drop into the conversation. I miss the way you pushed me out of my comfort zone in the kitchen, and I miss the way we could sit and not talk and still be at peace in each other’s company.
Yes, you were younger than me, but you were a friend, and you taught me a lot about the type of person I wanted to be. For years, I lived under the shadow of my father, and I found it hard to move on. But you managed it. Moving on, I mean. I don’t know what happened with your family (and yes, it also hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me), but you made a new life for yourself in spite of them.
I’m pleased you’re doing okay, and I’m glad our paths crossed again, even if I didn’t show it. N.
He hit “send” before he chickened out. Maybe he shouldn’t have included the parts about being pissed and hurt, but it was the honest truth, and he wasn’t going to lie the way she did.
And he’d said his piece. It was out of his system, and he could get some sleep tonight.
Or not.
CHAPTER 9
ALEXA
“What the hell…?”
“Is that a question?” Chase asked calmly from his spot by the pool. “Do you expect an answer, a platitude, or another coffee?”
Today, I was working from the terrace of a charming boutique hotel in the South of France. At least, Chase described it as charming. I thought it was more schmaltzy, but it had a decent room service menu. Chase also said I needed to get some sun, but I hated both sun and sunburn, and I took a vitamin D tablet every morning. So we’d compromised, and I was sitting outside but in the shade, sipping an espresso and nibbling on a pain au chocolat. At least he’d stopped whining now.
“Nolan sent me a message.”
“I see. So is that a good ‘what the hell’ or a bad ‘what the hell’?”
“I’m not sure. When I put the comms app on his phone, I figured he’d bug me for updates about the laptop, not…not this.”
“And what is ‘this’?”
Dammit, I realised I’d said too much. Nobody, not even Chase, needed to know the details of that particular past mistake.
“Some half-assed apology about a thing that happened years ago. It doesn’t even matter.”
“In Blackstone House?”
“Where else?”
“And yet it’s enough to get you worked up a decade later.”
Ugh, I hated when Chase was right. Which was most of the time, unfortunately.
“Nolan just brings back bad memories. All the murder drama, you know? I finally thought I’d found a safe place, and that life got ripped away from me overnight.”
After the cops arrived, I’d been terrified. Scared of being sent back to California. Filled with horror that one of my friends had betrayed the rest of us. Fearful about what would come next. But I’d learned a lot in the nearly two years I’d lived in Blackstone House.
Jez taught me bravery.
Dawson taught me loyalty.
Zach taught me confidence.
Justin taught me not to give up if something didn’t go right the first time.
Brax taught me sneakiness.
Grey taught me how to adapt my mannerisms, chameleon-like, to fit in.
Ruby taught me I was worthy, even when I doubted myself.
