I nod, taking a quick sip of my wine.
His plate is nearly clean when he pushes it away. “What’s wrong? Food okay?”
I nod, biting my lip because on the one hand, I know Ryder, and he’s the type of person that’ll get all mushy and flattered if I were to say that I’m going to miss him and it’s ruining my appetite.
On the other hand, I’mnotthe kind of girl who loses her appetite over a man leaving her for—what, a week? Two?
But it feels like we’re just hitting a groove with each other.
“I’m a little bummed, I guess, that you have to leave after this.”
“You’re bummed?” he asks, his eyebrows rising.
And there go my cheeks, heating again. “Yeah. I just kind of liked having some company here during the off season.”
He grins. “I won’t be gone long. A week, tops.”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “And don’t worry, I’ll blow up your phone every spare second I get. I’ll tell you what I’m eating for every meal and I’ll send you pictures of the socks I choose each morning. I’ll give you a full video tour of my apartment and I’ll even share my work calendar with you.”
“Okay, okay. I don’t need allthat.”
He shrugs. “Maybe I want to give it.” He reaches across the table, taking my hand with his. “I don’t really want to leave, but I’m not ready to abandon my company?—”
“I would never ask you to,” I interrupt.
He rolls his eyes. “I know you wouldn’t. But Sana’s been working her ass off to make up for my absence, and I need to make sure she has everything she needs to continue onwithout me.” He sighs, then shoots me a shit-eating grin. “And then I’ll be back here, ready to be the sunflower girl’s boy toy for however long she wants to use my body.”
I snort. “For how long though? I mean, you said the other night that this feels like home here and I just—it sounds like you’re kind of in limbo, you know?”
He eyes me, his expression serious. “What do you want, Evie?”
The question puts all sorts of spotlights on me. Because although I didn’t really have an endgame in mind with this conversation, I’m suddenly realizing that my anxiety had an endgame of its own.
I want him here. For good.
I shake my head. “Never mind. I think I’m just thrown by the end of the season. It always jars me, going from doing so much outside to focusing on, like, the teas or the seeds or whatever, and the fact that it all happened earlier than it usually does probably doesn’t help.”
He raises an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side. “Answer the question.”
“No.”
He snorts. “Eve, what are you not saying? You’re not going to scare me off, you know.”
“I scared my mother off and I was only six.”
He rolls his eyes. “Eve, that’s stupid and you know it.”
“Prove me wrong.”
“You’re deflecting.”
“Be deflected. Please.”
He stands, rounding the table and holding his hand out to me. “Come here.”
I let him pull me to my feet and drag me to the window, where the setting sun throws bright pinks and oranges through the sky, the cabins on the hill just barely visible inthe glow. He wraps his arms around me from behind, leaving a kiss on my cheek.
