Pain flickered into her eyes, there and gone in a second, because she blinked it away. “He’s gone,” she whispered.
A fresh sort of pain lanced through me. I didn’t regret my actions. But once upon a time, he had been my friend. We had been closer than brothers, and I had killed him.
“I’m sorry…” I began to say, and she cut me off
“I am as well, but you did it to save us.” She glanced down at Lily, snoring softly, pressed against my side. I followed her gaze.
“He would have killed her…” Her voice broke. She lifted tear-filled eyes to meet mine. And there was bottomless pain in them. “He almost killed you.”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “You won’t get rid of me that easily.” I tried to crack a smile and failed. “Unless you want to get rid of me?” My hand was still wrapped around her wrist, our eyes clashed.
“The doctor….” she began to say.
“Can wait. I remember what you said, Sophia.” Her eyes grew round.
“In the car. I couldn’t see a damned thing, but I could hear your voice. It was the only thing that kept me anchored. Something solid I could hold on to.” Pulling her arm toward me, I pressed a kiss to each of her fingertips. “You told me I wasn’t allowed to leave you.”
Silently, she nodded, her eyes darkening. “I did. I didn’t want you to die.”
“Is that all that was? How about now? Do you want me to leave you now that you know I’ll be fine?”
“Matteo…” She looked away, and I felt my heart sink.
“It’s okay to want your freedom, Sophia.” Every word I said felt like a razor blade in my throat. “I owe you that if that’s what you really want, but I don’t want you to leave me. My feelings for you have never changed. You not being in my life didn’t make me forget you. It made me need you more. And now I know the truth…” I glanced down at the sleeping form of our daughter and smiled.
I was a father.
“If you want your freedom, then I will give it to you, but I want to be in her life. She is one thing you can’t take away from me. I won’t allow that. I need to be allowed to be a dad to her.”
“I know. And I wouldn’t,” she blushed, “I mean, I did, but now you know.” Sophia shook her head. “I wouldn’t stop you from having a relationship. We will arrange something. I need to go over to the states to arrange,” more pain flickered across her face, “well, Gio isn’t around now, so I guess I have a lot of things to sort out and make better.” She gave a small shrug. “It’s…”
“I’m glad you are going to be around a lot because I have to get back there myself and quickly. There’s some things I have to do there as well. But I want to spend time with you, as well as Lily. Please tell me you’re okay with that as well.”
She stared at me, and I could see the wheels turning in her head as she mulled over my words. I knew her. She was clever. Any second now, she would work it out.
“The apartment is yours to use as you want, and I’ll help…”
I knew the second she realized. Her eyes widened and then darkened into slits. Yanking her hand back from mine, she glared at me.
“I think we will be okay in a hotel.”
“Why? The apartment was bought for us. Before we even had sex, I bought it so we would have a place in the city after we got married. It’s as much yours as it is mine.”
Ten seconds passed. “That’s very kind of you, Matteo, but I have one question.”
I held my breath and waited for it.
“Why are you in such a rush to get back stateside?”
I shook my head.
At that moment, the doctor walked in, and we both turned to stare at him with open hostility.
Talk about bad timing.
“Not now, doc.”
“We need to…”
