“I mean we sat in silence until we got to the hotel. Then they each hugged me and that was it.”
Quinn had to admit that was a bit harsh considering that Autumn never shared her emotions. She wondered if Autumn’s parents had even taken note of that. For Autumn to bring something like that up to her parents it would have had to be important. Surely they must realize that as well. James and Moira had seemed like good people at dinner. Quinn refused to believe they’d simply blow their daughter off.
“Maybe they just wanted time to process what you told them. That way they aren’t reacting from a place of emotion,” Quinn offered.
“Maybe you’re right. I think it just hurt more because it took me so long to say anything at all,” Autumn admitted.
Quinn pulled her in even tighter. Autumn gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“You really are incredible. I’m not sure how I would have done this without you.”
“You would have made it work,” Quinn chuckled.
“You get everything you set your mind to done,” Quinn added.
There was more that Quinn wanted to say, but she was halted by a knock on the door. She gave Autumn a questioning look. Autumn seemed equally surprised and offered only a shrug of her shoulder. Autumn stood from the couch and went to check the door.
“It’s my mom,” Autumn whispered the words after she checked the peephole.
“Let her in,” Quinn mouthed the words.
Autumn opened the door and Moira practically rushed past her. Moira caught sight of Quinn and there was a clear internal struggle behind her clear blue eyes. Moira’s eyes were so much like Autumn’s, the color and shape almost identical.
“Hi, Mom,” Autumn offered, her tone softer than Quinn had ever heard her voice.
“Hi, sweetie,” Moira answered. She turned, clearly appraising Autumn.
“You want something to drink?” Autumn asked. She was operating on autopilot.
Quinn had to fight off her own desire to rescue Autumn. Her girlfriend was the most capable person she knew. Autumn could do this, Quinn knew she could.
“A drink would be lovely. Then let’s talk,” Moira suggested.
Autumn poured herself and her mom a glass of wine, and she brought Quinn a beer. They all sat in silence for a few minutes. Autumn sat beside Quinn on the couch, while Moira had snagged a chair adjacent to them.
“I wanted to talk to you about what you said earlier tonight in the car,” Moira began.
Autumn didn’t immediately respond, offering only the slow nod of her head. Quinn watched silently, she knew it wasn’t her place to interject. She would be here to offer Autumn as much support as she needed. Almost instinctively Quinn reached out her hand and found Autumn’s waiting for her. Quinn laced their fingers together to the knuckles and gave Autumn’s hand a squeeze.
Moira sighed from her spot in the chair, she leaned forward setting her wine glass down on the coffee table. Now that she was examining the two of them side by side Quinn couldn’t ignore the similarities between mother and daughter. Their eyes were by far the most uncanny similarity, but they also shared the same face and nose shape. It softened Quinn even more towards Moira.
Moira was clearly trying to gather her thoughts. Quinn could see that dealing with emotional issues was no more comfortable for her than it was for her daughter.
“Let me start by saying that what you said earlier caught your father and I off-guard. That isn’t to say that your feelings and experiences aren’t valid. Only that it’s clear we’ve been experiencing things a bit differently. You’ve always been exceptional. Smart and articulate from an early age. Everyone told us so,” Moira smiled fondly at the memories of a small Autumn.
“We wanted to make sure that we did our best to raise you to live up to that potential. And you never failed to exceed our expectations. We’ve been so proud to watch all of your successes. But I don’t think it occurred to us that you might be viewing that through the lens of never being good enough. I never knew that, to you, it seemed like our love was conditional on your accomplishments.”
Moira sighed again. Quinn watched as all of Autumn’s walls seemed to crumble around her heart. Tears streamed down Autumn’s cheeks. It was clear that she’d been needing to hear these things from her mother for some time.
“We have always been so proud of you. And when we pushed you it wasn’t coming from a place of needing you to be perfect. We just wanted so much for you to always have the best. But I’m sorry if our pushing you seemed like you wouldn’t be accepted unless you were the best at everything. That was never our intention.”
Quinn rose from her seat and gestured for Moira to sit beside Autumn on the couch. The move felt right. She knew that the two of them needed this moment. Autumn had been waiting years to hear her mom say these things to her. Quinn took Moira’s spot in the chair and watched as the scene unfolded in front of her.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you how I was feeling,” Autumn started, but Moira held up a hand shushing her.
“Your father and I have never been incredible when it comes to talking through our feelings. We didn’t exactly make bringing these things up accessible for you to talk about,” Moira offered. Autumn and Moira each had tears streaming down their faces.
“I think tonight has been a pretty good start for us,” Autumn said her tone was heavy with the weight of her emotions. Hearing it made Quinn’s heart clench in her chest.
