“Yes.” Then he touched her hands. He wrapped his fingers around hers as if he wanted to shield her from this very task. “But you will tell me if my mother demands too much.”
“Yes,” she said. “I will tell you when you fulfill your other promise.” He had not made any other promises, but she was going to hold him to it nonetheless.
He frowned. “I don’t remember another promise—”
“I will be your perfect bride. And I will change my mind before we speak any vows.”
“I hate that you’re caught up in this nonsense.”
“I will do it because you want it.” She smiled. “And because every night…” She lifted her chin, forcing herself to be bold enough to grab what she wanted. Or at least a little part of it.
“Every night?” He stroked a finger across her brow, pushing the hair away from her eyes as he searched her face.
“You will come to me, and you will kiss me again.”
“Yihui—”
“I insist. I want a kiss from you. One a night.”
“Why?” His word was spoken low, the vibration of it sliding through her energy channels until her whole body tingled.
“Because I want it,” she said. Because she already knew her life would be difficult. She intended to make medicines for women and live independent of all men. That meant he would not be in her life. No man would be. And if she wanted to feel the excitement of his mouth upon hers, if she wanted to experience the frantic beat of her heart as they dueled tongue against tongue, then it would need to be now. Here. Once a night, every night until she was established on her own and saw him no more.
“Because I will not be your wife.”
“You cannot—”
“And I will not become a whore.”
He reared back. “Absolutely not.”
“Then I will have your kisses. One a night.” She bit her lip, trying not to let her nervousness show. “That is your second promise to me.”
He squeezed her hands, his thumb pressing a long stroke from her wrist to her knuckle. “And what if I want more? What if I cannot stop myself?”
She looked him in the eyes. “Would that be wrong?”
“Very.”
“It would dishonor you?”
“Yes. And ruin you for an honorable marriage later.”
Honor was of supreme importance to him, as it was with all good men.
“Then I will trust in your goodness.”
He groaned as he dropped his forehead to hers. “That is not a wise decision.”
“I know,” she confessed. “But it is what I want.” Then she pulled one of her hands out from beneath his. She touched his cheek and gently lifted his gaze to meet hers. “Will you do this for me? Will you accept this bargain?”
She knew the answer before he said it. She saw it in the softening in his eyes and the yearning in his whisper.
“I rather think it will be for me,” he said. And then he leaned forward. She thought he was going to kiss her now. She stretched her mouth for his, but he avoided it. Instead, he slid his hands beneath her and picked her up. He scooped her up and balanced her in his arms as she squeaked in surprise and then gripped his shoulders for balance.
Would it always be this way with him? Would he always surprise and unbalance her?
Heavenly Kwan Yin, she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy,please let it be so. If not forever, then at least for a time.
