“It will not be mine.”
She smiled. They had reached the entrance to the apothecary shop. Every night for the last week he had escorted her here then taken his leave after a single, scorching kiss. Olivia had carried her to her bedroom then. And Olivia had helped her undress while she dreamed of what Max might have done if her servant wasn’t around.
So tonight, she had arranged for Olivia to sleep elsewhere. Druina, too, was gone, having traveled north to a relation who had seeds they needed. Recipes too, if all went well.
Which left her alone with Max.
“I hope you enjoyed tonight,” Max said. “I thought it wonderful.”
In China, refined women never made the first move. Even the whores pretended to an innocence they did not possess. But she had long since learned that women who waited on men often waited forever.
So with an anxiety that surprised her, she looked to Max and spoke words that she had never said to anyone.
“Come to my bed tonight, Max.”
His eyes widened and his breath caught. She saw hunger surge in his expression, before he shut it down and stepped back from her.
“You cannot praise me for my honor and then ask for such a thing.” He stroked her face, and she felt his fingers tremble.
“We have kissed before.”
“I should not have.” His lips quirked. “But I could not resist you.” His thumb trailed across her bottom lip. “You fascinate me, Yihui. And the more I learn, the more I want.”
“Then why deny—”
“Because I cannot. I will not treat you as my whore.” His words were crude, and though her blood was burning hot from his caress, she felt the violence in his rejection. Not of her, but at the way she might think.
“I know I am not your whore,” she said.
“Yihui—”
“I love you. And for once in my life, I would experience that with you.”
Chapter Forty
Max felt theblood roar in his ears. It wasn’t from lust. He’d felt overwhelming desire for Yihui for weeks now. But this was the first time he had heard her say the word, love. And more importantly, that was the first time he’d heard a woman say such a thing to him and really mean it.
The word was overused by the younger set, never used once past the blush of youth in the older set, and roundly scoffed at by those inside his own circle. And yet, when she said it, he felt it all the way to his soul.
And once felt, he could not stop himself. He kissed her. He drew her mouth to his and then thrust inside. He licked her, he tasted her, and he thoroughly enjoyed possessing this one part of her body.
When he pulled back, her eyes were dazed. He couldn’t stop touching her, so even as he pulled back, he kept a hand on her cheek before letting it slide down her neck. A small shift would have him cupping her breast, but he held back.
“Yihui—” he groaned. An honorable man would leave her. He would not take what he did not intend to marry.
“I will not beg,” she said. “I am a free woman, and I can give what I want to whomever I want.”
And she chose him. The magnitude of that humbled him. How could he not give her what she wanted?
Suddenly decided, he turned to the neighborhood at large and released a loud whistle. Shadows moved around them. Street boys were always around, especially in this area of town.
“A quid to the one who takes the pony—”
A shadow resolved into a dirty freckled boy. “Where’s it belong, guv?” the child asked.
He gave directions, tossed the boy a coin, then added, “They’ll give you supper, too, if you ask nice.”
Then he scooped Yihui off Blue and started carrying her inside. She’d always felt tiny to him with small bones and small breasts, but holding her like this stirred his senses to a fever pitch. Every part of her was exquisite and he was going to enjoy learning every hill and valley of her body.
