The door to my bedroom swings open and Vera appears. Behind her are Hojo and Tanaka. One carries a basket full of stuff and the other holds an elaborate gown in her arms.
I sit up and arch an eyebrow. Vera sighs and waves her hand. “Yes, knocking. I’ll try to remember that the next time.”
I roll my eyes. “Only if it’s not too much to ask, oh mighty patron.”
A corner of Vera’s mouth curls up, her steely eyes dancing with amusement. So, she’s in a good mood today.
I jerk my chin at the basket in Hojo’s arms. “What’s that all about?”
“This is everything you need for the ceremonial bath,” Vera says. She gestures at my bathroom, and Hojo disappears behind the sliding door. “Today’s a special day. I have instructions from the Taaslord on how to prepare my champion for the Starless Night.”
Ceremonial bath? Fuck. The hickey Daegel left on my skin is still visible.
I clear my throat. “What instructions?”
“In the morning, you’re to have a ceremonial bath to cleanse your body and prepare your mind for what’s ahead,” Vera says. “Then, you are to spend the rest of your day fasting, in solitude, until the night falls. Then, we feast upon the spirits of the gods until the morning.”
I blink. “Interesting.”
“I assume you’re going to do just fine with solitude for the whole day considering you’ve been brooding alone for the past two days,” Vera says, circling my bed. “Tanaka, you can put the gown in the wardrobe and go help Hojo with the bath.”
“I’m not going to have your girls bathe me,” I snap.
Vera arches an eyebrow. Tanaka pauses in the middle of hanging the gown on the door of my wardrobe.
“And why’s that, soldier girl?”
Tanaka glances at Vera, who nods at her to go into the washroom. She rushes after Hojo. The sound of running water reaches my ears.
I need to find a good enough excuse. The moment she lays eyes on the hickey, she’ll know. And I’ll be fucked.
“I don’t want them bathing me again,” I say. I drop my gaze down. Bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t even need to act. I truly feel uncomfortable about the confession I’m about to make. “I don’t feel comfortable with people…seeing my scars. Nor do I like them touching me. I’d prefer to have a bath in private, by myself.”
Vera’s silent for a moment. Unable to bear the tension, I lift my eyes to meet hers. There’s kindness there, and understanding. It strikes me like an arrow.
Finally, she nods. “If you wish so. I’ll have them prepare the bath and all the ointments so you can have the ceremonial bath in private.”
Words are thick in my throat. “Thank you.”
Vera goes into the washroom, but she pauses. Over her shoulder, she says, “Your scars are nothing to be ashamed of, Phoenix. They tell the history of who you are, what you went through, and where you’re headed. Every Ezkai would find it honorable to carry them on their skin.”
She doesn’t wait for me to answer.
I sit in silence, mulling her words over in my mind. Daegel said something similar to me once, when he first saw me naked. But coming from Vera…those words carry even more meaning.
The thick fog of guilt in my chest thickens. It’s hard to get a breath in.
I don’t understand myself, these feelings. Since when do I feel so guilty so often?
I roll my shoulders and crack my neck, trying to center myself and regulate myself emotionally. It’s not coming to me easily, unfortunately.
Vera’s voice startles me. “The bath’s ready for you. Take your time as you wash yourself. Once you’re done, put the oils linedup on the counter all over your body, face, and hair. Purple is for the body, pink is for the hair, and green is for the face. There are clothes laid out for you. After, head downstairs and into the back gardens. There, my crew has prepared a corner for silent meditation. You can comfortably spend your solitary day there. We won’t disturb you until it’s time to get dressed for tonight.”
I dip my chin. “Thank you, Vera.”
She nods and leaves me alone in my bedroom, her girls following her out obediently.
I toss my legs over the edge of the bed, sigh, and rise. I pad into the washroom where the steam from the hot bath lingers in the air. Scents of jasmine, rose, and lemon tickle my nose. I inhale greedily and strip out of my linen sleeping shirt and pants.
