“I can’t believe you got someone to convince me to drop out, even after I explained why it’s important for me to participate in the trials,” I say. A few steps away, I find my leather pants. Furious, I shove one leg in. “Jax? Really? And when I ask you about him, you go and punch the guy?! What the fuck is wrong with you, Daegel? Sometimes I feel like I don’t recognize you anymore.”
I shove my other leg in and pull the pants up my hips.
“Phoenix, there are certain ways Caligos do business,” he says, voice hard. “Jax knows that.”
“Oh, so you’re Caligos now?” I challenge him.
He says nothing. We stare at each other for a couple of long moments.
“You’re fucking unbelievable,” I say and shake my head. I finish buttoning my pants. “I’m unbelievable, too, to come here, risk Vera finding out?—”
“Why do you care what I do with Jax?” Daegel cocks his head to the side. “Do you like the guy?”
I pause. The darkness that settles in his features, the way his eyes change…unsettles me.
“What?” I scoff. My heart races in my chest. “What the fuck do you mean? I can’t stand the guy! I can’t believe you’d send him to convince me to drop out!”
Daegel’s shoulders slump with relief, but from his gaze I can tell he’s not a hundred percent convinced. He closes the distance between us in a couple of strides.
“Phoenix, I don’t want to lose you,” he says. “I want to keep you safe. That’s the only reason why I keep begging you to drop out, why I hired Jax to help me convince you.”
“I’m capable of protecting myself. Why don’t you drop out, and stand by my side, huh? Why don’t you let me be the General, and I’ll make you my Taaslord?”
Daegel presses his lips into a thin line and says nothing.
Something clicks in my mind at the cold silence.
This is never going to end.
I will not change his mind, even if loves me.
If we’re to survive this, and have any hope of keeping our relationship intact, it would have to be at my expense.
Either I sacrifice my ambition and step aside so I can support him. Or there won’t be a future for us.
Should I? Relationships are all about sacrifice. That’s what love is all about. Without sacrifice, there’s no unit, no team. Just two people living their own lives.
“Phoenix, please. Let me keep you safe. Don’t throw away our future together when you don’t have to.” Daegel’s words are gentle, pleading.
I’m not sure I can sacrifice. It would mean betraying my family, their memory. It would mean King Francis would continue to rule unchecked in Wetra while Caligos do the same here in Ekios.
Without answering, I turn around and leave.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
PHOENIX
For the next two days, I keep mostly to myself.
I spend most of my time locked in my room at Vera’s studio, or training in her back garden. It’s fairly spacious and designed well for training. I can’t help but wander if the late Ezkai General spend much time here…whether or not Vera designed these gardens with him in mind.
Vera’s scarcely home these past few days. That makes it easy for me to avoid her. Her apprentices are busy with whatever Caetras do day-to-day. Jax is nowhere to be found either.
Today’s the day.
In the evening, the Starless Night celebration will begin. I barely know what that means, but everyone’s been excited about it. After the Culling, I am less than.
I yawn and roll over in my bed. The gentle morning breeze rustles the light curtains.
