Maybe I just need a couple of days to let this pass. It must be the aftershock from what I’ve witnessed. Hopefully it’ll go away.
With a long sigh, I lean back and stretch my legs. I want to relax, but it’s impossible. Too many things plague my mind, and I’m tired from not getting enough sleep.
An incredibly stupid idea crosses my mind. There is only one other person I know who understands what I’m going through right now. One whose comfort my soul craves, even if we’re enemies.
I drag myself out of the bathtub and get ready.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
PHOENIX
When I finally arrive at Daegel’s estate, the sun has already breached the sky, slowly stretching its long rays across it, painting it in the most beautiful hues of reds, pinks and oranges while it hangs lazily just above the horizon.
Daegel’s finishing the last sequence of the essential Ezkai drills he does every morning when I walk up to his estate. He’s shirtless, a thin layer of sweat glistering on his skin.
For an Ezkai, he has damn smooth skin. Barely any scars, or marks of battle.
“Princess,” he says, turning to face me. His eyes widen with surprise. “It’s good to see you.”
My steps halt a few feet away from him. I clear my throat.
So many questions.
So many fucking questions run through my mind. I want to ask them all, and force him to answer me truthfully. Would I believe him, though?
The rift between us is so wide, I don’t think we can reach each other anymore.
Yet, the desire to close it is hard to overcome. The invisible string connecting us forces my feet forward until our bodies collide.
One of his hand runs through my hair, while the other rests on the small of my back as he holds me close to him. His eyes hood as he looks down at me.
I miss this. I miss being close to him, feeling his strength against me.
We fit so well. Why has it been so hard recently?
“I miss you,” he murmurs.
A shiver runs down my back. I rest my forehead on his sweaty, hard chest.
“I know,” I whisper. “I miss you, too.”
We stand like this for a couple heartbeats. I allow myself to close my eyes and enjoy the moment of peace that’s been so hard to find these days.
“I’m so cold,” I murmur after a while. I pull away and look up at him. No question dances in his eyes. That’s when I know he understands what I mean. I tap the middle of my chest. “In my soul. No matter what I do, I can’t get warm.”
“During the Culling, our souls separated from our bodies for a brief moment and entered the world where spirits of the gods reside,” Daegel explains softly. “It’s the aftershock from the experience. It’s extremely taxing for Decarios to attempt such a thing.”
I tighten my grip around his waist. His presence is soothing.
“Were you terrified, too?”
He nods. After a pause, he adds, “I was terrified for myself, and for you, Phoenix. I don’t know what I would have done if you were…one of those who didn’t make it back.”
I lick my lips and press my cheek against his chest. His heart beats in a steady rhythm, and soon the warmth from his body starts seeping into mine.
The guilt is heavy on my chest. I’m glad he can’t read my emotions.
I had not thought about Daegel at the Culling. While I was in the experience, or before it. Even after it…
