Before I can reply, the monk in the middle says, “Ezkai. Step into the Well. Leave your mortal struggles, hardships, desires, and beliefs behind. Let us cleanse your body, mind, and soul.”
Other participants don’t hesitate. They get into the pool, and I step closer to the water. Below me are stone stairs carved into the terrain. I have no clue how deep the water gets.
The moment my feet connect with the water, a warmth washes through me, from the tips of my toes all the way to the crown of my head. I bite my lip to stop the gasp from coming out and force myself to move until I reach the last step.
When my feet land on the bottom of the pool, the water reaches up to my waist, only I’m floating. I can see my feet on solid stone but I can’t feel anything beneath them. The tendrils swirl around me, soft and smooth as silk. It’s a very disorienting experience.
I’m warm and relaxed, despite it. Slowly, I become one with the Well. All I want is to drown in this feeling forever. I close my eyes and sway my body.
“Don’t let yourselves be seduced by the power of the Well.” The monk’s words echo somewhere far away from me.
I don’t want to listen to the damn monks. It feels so good to be here in this moment.
It’s home, and I’m sitting by the fireplace with my family after dinner, playing cards. My dad’s palm pats me on the shoulder and my mother laughs. The sound is soft and fuzzy, and it wraps around me like my favorite wool blanket. My sisters bicker and I smile.
“Let the waves pass through you. Let the spirits take away the memories that are holding you back, the feelings and emotions blocking you from your true self.” The monk’s words are like music in my mind.
A deep cry, almost a growl, comes from somewhere behind me. I ignore it, holding tightly to the feeling of comfort and happiness that surrounds me. It seeps deep into my flesh, to the marrow of my bones.
My emotions feel raw as they pulsate inside my chest. I inhale a sharp breath, because it’s a bit much. I don’t want to feel this intensely all at once. It burns me from the inside out.
It’s the pain of heartbreak and the pleasure of a lover’s touch all at once. The sorrow of losing a parent, and the joy of finding a place to call home. The rage of most brutal betrayal and the terror of never feeling like you belong.
I can barely keep all of it contained within me. The emotions tear through my chest. I can’t do it anymore. I must let go, otherwise I’ll die. But I resist, because if I let go…I will let go of everything that makes me who I am.
I swallow down the pain, pushing it deeper inside me so it won’t leave me. I shove and push until I can’t breathe anymore. My lungs don’t expand; there is no space.
I should be scared, but I’m not.
I’m light as a feather.
I want to open my eyes, but they don’t listen to me. I float in the water for what feels like forever.
The air full of salty sea scent tickles my nose. I giggle. The wind whips at my cheeks and messes with my hair. This time around, I’m able to open my eyes.
Vasquez’s tanned face in front of me is so familiar it hurts. I blink, reaching for him. When I touch his face, and it’s real under my fingertips, I gasp. Vasquez grins.
It’s been a long time, sweetheart.
His rich-timbred voice rumbles deep inside me, and I laugh. I miss him so much.
“Ezkai, don’t let your inner demons seduce you.” The monk’s voice rings in my mind. A shiver passes through my body. “Resist, fight, stand strong in the face of the deepest, darkest corners of your being. The spirits of the gods can feel your weakness.”
Vasquez caresses my cheek. His hand is warm and soft like the water in the Well. I close my eyes with a sigh and lean into his touch. The sweet sensation of it sends waves of pleasure rolling through my body.
I have found the place I never want to leave.
This is home.
It’s everything I have been looking for since I watched my family burn alive, together with the house I grew up in.
You idiot, Vera’s voice says to me. My eyes snap open. Vasquez is still here with me. But Vera’s here, too, right next to him. I open my mouth to ask her what is she doing here, but no words leave my lips. Vasquez’s soft fingers behind my neck turn into an ironclad grip pinning me in place.
Remember your why.Vera’s lips don’t move. She speaks directly into my mind. Her words, the tone of her voice feels like a cold shower. I hate it, because it pulls me further away from the cozy warmth I crave.
I look back at Vasquez.
Something is different.
