We glare at each other in silence. A muscle in his jaw ticks. Without saying another word, Daegel walks past me and slams the door as he leaves my apartment.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
VERA
I stare at the ceiling of my bedroom. The mattress is warm and soft under me. But it offers little comfort. Inside, I’m cold as the harshest Ekiosh winter in the northern mountains.
One day, Vera dearest, one day. We have nothing but time. And I have patience.
Tears burn my eyes. I close them to prevent any more from spilling. I’ve shed enough tears already.
I don’t have it in me anymore.
But the pain…It tears through my chest as if there’s a huge sword stuck in the place where my heart beats.
I don’t know how to make it stop. How to prevent it from making me crumble. I can’t afford that. Not right now.
I should have told Kitajo I loved him the last time I saw him. I should have screamed it from the rooftops so the whole of Ekios knows until I lost my voice.
He thought we had time. I was arrogant enough to believe him. How could I not? In my mind, he was invincible, the most loved, and feared, Ezkai General in history. The man who was unbreakable and untouchable.
Yet here we are…
I roll over onto my side and tuck my palms under my cheek. One lone tear rolls down my nose and sinks into the silk pillow.
“I love you, too,” I whisper into the nothingness.
It’s too late. He’s not here to hear those words.
A heart attack. I don’t care what the healers say. I don’t buy it.
I bite my lip to keep the sob that’s threatening to break out inside me. I can’t let anyone know how much losing Kitajo pains me. I must suffer in silence.
A knock on the door spikes my pulse.
“What?” I call, irritated. “I still have an hour before we have to prepare for the party.”
Nobody answers. The door creaks gently as it opens. I’m going to kill whoev?—
Noire walks in and closes the door behind his back. He lingers by it. His long silk tunic pools around his feet, the edges of it blurring with the dark smokey shadows that are always at his feet. The wide sleeves reveal just a tiny peek of the heavy tattoos weaving around his wrists.
I can’t stand the softness in his gaze. The pity.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I say, harshly.
“I’m not, my dear.”
With a sigh, I plop back onto the bed and cover my face with one of the many pillows. “Why are you here, Noire? You’re interrupting my one hour of peace before I have to go and entertain your House Dzuni when it’s the last thing I want to do.”
Noire’s laugh is soft and gentle, just like his shadows. “I know, dearest. Unfortunately, the future of our country lies on our shoulders. It doesn’t care for our grief, nor does it care for our moods.”
I groan and toss the pillow aside. Noire settles on one of the pink love seats in the corner of my bedroom. His black pupils blur at the edges, and his icy blue eyes swirl with tendrils of shadows. There is also a shadow wrapped tightly around his neck, glimmering in the dim light as if it’s the night sky full of stars.
I toss my legs over the edge of the bed and cross my arms. Noire pulls out a file from under his tunic.
I cock an eyebrow. “How did you fit that inside a pocket?”
He winks at me. “Professional secret.”
