“I know that very well,” she says after a brief pause. One of her hands rests on the back of the armchair, but she’s turned to the crowd. “If I can be honest with you, it’s one of the reasons I worried we’d lose. An Ezkai General must be a people person.”
I snort. “Good to know.”
She smirks. “You can’t blame me for having doubts. Your attitude is not an easy one to deal with. However, I must say, you absolutely outdid yourself during the Trial of Wisdom. Even in my dreams, I couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome. I’m glad you’re my chosen champion.”
I don’t know what to say. Vera notices my hesitation and surprise. She chuckles. “What? You think I can’t tell you a compliment when you deserve one?”
“Not at all. In fact, keep them coming.”
“Ah, Ezkai and their egos. Larger than life itself.”
I laugh. “One of the very few flaws we have. Many nobles are here tonight. Noire isn’t joining us?”
Vera shakes her head. “He has too much on his plate right now, no time for pleasures. Noire does send his best wishes and congratulations to you.”
I lift my glass and then take a drink. “Thank you.”
Vera’s demeanor shifts. “There is something I wanted to talk to you about.”
I look up at her calmly, but my heart races in my chest.
She doesn’t look at me when she says the next words. “When Ezkai participate in these trials, they fight for themselves, even though that goes against everything they believe as part of the Order. To win, they must turn their backs on their brothers and sisters. During the Trial of Wisdom, every Ezkai watched their own backs, and fought their own fights. Every Ezkai except two.”
My heart sinks. But I remain silent.
“Daegel helped you, and you helped him. If not for that, you might be dead. He certainly would be, because before you interfered, he was losing the fight against the dragon. While I’m beyond happy to have you alive, I don’t think helping your enemy during the trials is the best strategy, Phoenix.”
I don’t like the tone she uses with me. Once again, I feel like she’s scolding me for misbehaving, as if I were a troublesome child. Anger rises to the surface and I grip the glass in my hand hard.
“We’re not savages. We’re honorable soldiers, or have you forgotten about that? An honorable soldier respects their comrades,” I say through gritted teeth.
Finally, Vera looks at me. “The moment you signed up forVal’taz Ezkairin,other Ezkai stopped being your comrades. They turned into deadly competitors. Besides, don’t give me this honor crap. I didn’t see you help other Ezkai. The only one youaided was Daegel.” She pauses. We stare at each other for a long, silent moment. “Now, part of our deal was that I offer my support if you forfeit all your ties with Caligos, including your boyfriend. So, let me ask you, Phoenix—have you let go of your past so you can build the future? Or will we have a problem?”
It takes all my will to force myself not to react to her words. To not let my worry show. It was stupid of me to aid Daegel when all eyes were on us. Now, Vera’s suspicious.
Vera presses her lips into a thin line when I don’t answer. I swallow.
“Ladies, everything good?” Jax approaches us with a careful smile. “I sense some tension from all the way over in the conversation pit. Right now I might be the only one, but others will soon catch up, I’m sure.”
I ignore him.
“We made a deal and I respect it. I have cut all my ties with Caligos,” I say quietly to Vera. “However, just because Daegel was born into his family, a family he didn’t choose, it doesn’t mean that he’s just like them. Like Caligos.”
I expect Vera to argue with me. Instead, she sighs. “Oh, Phoenix. I know what I asked of you is a lot. It’s hard to tame our hearts’ desires, even when they’re bad for us. But thinking that Daegel is not like the rest of his family, the rest of Caligos, is naive. It’ll get you killed.”
I scoff. “Don’t patronize me.”
Her gaze softens, which surprises me. “I’m not. I’m trying to help you see the truth.”
I bristle. “And what’s that truth, huh?”
“I don’t think I can tell you. Even if I did, you would not feel the impact of it as you would if you witness it with your own two eyes.”
“Then show me.”
She regards me with sadness that turns into determination.
Jax scratches the back of his head. “What are we talking about here?”
