“Oh, God.” My cheeks warm once more. “It wasn’t meant to happen, but then he started telling me all these sweet things, like he’s falling for me and he cares for me, and finding me again after all these years was some lucky dream.”
“Hey, if you don't want him, I’ll take him.”
My heart jumps slightly and I cast my eye out to the party. “Then we sort of fell into bed together because… because everything he was saying, I was feeling. Everything’s been so sweet, y’know? Nick’s taken to him instantly, the dates have been amazing, the s-e-x isincredible,” I murmur, spelling it out just in case any smart six-year-old is listening too closely. “And then we fell into bed and the next thing I know, I’m waking up to your texts asking if I’ve been chopped up in the forest.”
Stacey laughs but the concern in her eyes is genuine. “I was really worried. I didn’t want to get you into trouble, but I didn’t know where you were.”
“I know. That’s completely on me. I just… I was so irresponsible.” I glance at Mom who now has her back to me as she helps one of the children get the balloon they want. “I think it was nice to turn it off for a second, y’know? I wasn’t the girl with the dead dad or the irate mom. I wasn’t a mother or anything. I was just… Calliope.” I shake my head and look back at Stacey. “That’s so selfish, isn’t it?”
She shrugs and squeezes my shoulder with her hand. “I think it’s natural for any parent to want to feel like themselves again. You have a baby or you go through something and suddenly, you’reall these labels for other people. But you still exist. Just… next time, tell me so I don’t call the cops, okay?”
“I don’t know if there will be a next time.”
Stacey pauses her drinking and stares at me with wide eyes. “You just said everything was really good?”
“It is, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t keep doing this. Not without telling him the truth.”
Stacey’s eyes dart to Nick who has fashioned a cape out of some wrapping paper and is now running around with his friends. “About Nick?”
“Mmhmm. And it terrifies me because… well, I have no clue how he’ll react, y’know? If…whenI tell him, I risk losing everything. I just snapped at my mom about how Nick is mine, but, Stacey…” I look at her as an unexpected warmth stings behind my eyes. “Elijah is rich and powerful. If he’s angry enough, he could sue me, and what do I have to back me up? I could lose custody.”
“You have six years of raising a happy, healthy little boy,” Stacey tries to reassure me. “Nick is an amazing kid. You should be proud, and any court can see that.”
“Maybe,” I whisper. “But everything else? Legal fees and a lawyer and the stress of a case? I’d fight, but what if I lose? What if I lose him againandmy son?” My stomach knots until there’s nothing but an uncomfortable weight settling in my gut. “I can’t lose my baby.”
“Calliope—”
Whatever else Stacey has to say is cut off by the ring of the doorbell. I excuse myself and weave through the excited crowd of kids chanting about cake and head for the door. It’s muchquieter in the hall and I breathe deeply, then open the door with a wide smile. “Hi! Oh.”
Elijah stands on the doorstep with a wrapped present in his hands and he smiles. “Calliope.”
“Elijah. I… sorry, hi. I didn’t expect to see you.”
“Well, you left in such a rush that I didn’t get a chance to tell you that I had a gift for Nick. I don’t need to stay if you don’t want me to, but it’s here if you?—”
“Come here.” I grab his wrist suddenly and pull him over the threshold. He’s here. It’s got to be fate that he’s here, and maybe this is the perfect situation to soften the blow. “Come in, please. There’s something I have to tell you.”
35
ELIJAH
Calliope takes the present from me and sets it down on the side table in the hall, then she takes my hand and leads me through to the kitchen. Squeals of laughter and excitement rise up from the living room, and I’m suddenly smiling uncontrollably at the sound.
Is there anything purer than the sound of a child’s excitement?
“Is everything okay?” I ask as we enter the kitchen.
Calliope closes the door behind me and walks around the island counter. “Can I get you anything?”
“I’m okay, thank you. Calliope, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” I’ve never seen her like this. She keeps tucking her hair behind both ears and walking as if she’s uncomfortable. She reaches one of the counters and presses all her fingertips together, then curls her hands into fists and walks back to the other side.
“I don’t know how to say this,” she says, her voice slightly strained.
“If it’s something I’ve done, then please, just tell me straight. If it’s something else, then you can tell me. I won’t judge.” I hope it’s not me. Last night was fantastic. The chance to get my feelings out in the open was such a rush and it drove Calliope deeper into my arms, not away. I can’t think of anything that could deflate the cloud I’ve been on all day, thanks to her grace and attention.
Then again, as Calliope’s brows knit together and she chews her lower lip to the point it flushes deep red, something rolls in my gut and the unsettled feeling grows the more she paces back and forth.
Is it work? Family? Has Imogen contacted her? A flurry of worry darts through my mind, every thought almost instantaneous like a crowd of birds flocking together and suddenly, I’m nervous.
