His absence drives my worry back in the direction that something has happened to him. What if he was mugged? What if his taxi got into an accident and he’s in a hospital where no one knows his name? What if he’s in a ditch somewhere because that taxi driver wasn’t a real taxi?
“Oh my God.” I catch myself, hands flat on my desk and heart racing as I stare at my monitor with blurry eyes. “Stop. Stop. Stop.” Closing my eyes, I force several deep breaths to stop myself from spiraling.
This is ridiculous.
We’re not anything official. I don’t get to know his every move. So what if he doesn’t text me back? It’s his loss.
It is.
Not mine.
But… it feels like mine. As the hours crawl by, the knot in my gut gets larger and larger until it feels like it’s knocking against my heart with every beat. Despite the best of my ability, it’s like I’m back where I was six years ago where that wonderful night turned into a wall of silence.
I can’t believe I fell for it twice.
How stupid am I?
Dejected by my own thoughts, I drag myself away from the computer and trudge down to the breakroom.
“Calliope!” Victoria’s there, dressed in hot pink with a sweater decorated in Valentine’s emblems. “Just the girl I was looking for.”
“Hi.” I smile weakly. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, you mean why am I not at the store prancing around in this getup trying to persuade cheating men that the way to forgiveness is a bracelet and an expensive necklace?” She groans and rolls her eyes. “The crowd was driving me crazy so I came up here for lunch to see you guys!” She follows me to the coffee machine as she talks, then sits an inch too close when I sit at the table. “And to see you!”
“If this is about the Valentine’s stock going back on the website, I wasn’t privy to that decision. Jimmy told me to take it off, then ordered me to put it back on again, so it’s not my fault the warehouse is having to split the orders.”
“What?” Her brow knits together and she shakes her head. “No, I’m not talking about that.”
“Oh.”
“I wanted to see you again…” She cranes upward to see who else is in the breakroom, and after evaluating that Davis is far too old and too engrossed in his crossword to care, sinks back down to my level and leans close. “About you and Elijah.”
The knot worsens and the terrible coffee in my mouth turns into acid as I swallow. “There is no me and Elijah.”
“Right.” She winks slowly. “But y’know… have you talked to him? Did you find out what all this secrecy is about? Because Jimmy looks worried and there were a bunch of lawyers here over the weekend. Amanda was telling me that they looked scary and important.”
“Amanda thinks everyone in a suit looks important.”
“True.” Victoria winces faintly. “But still… What did Elijah say?”
“Nothing. He hasn’t said anything.”
“Have you asked him?”
“Not… exactly.”
“Comeon, Calliope,” Victoria groans, lightly grasping my forearm. “You’re literally the only hope we have. No one else has come close to a conversation with that guy so like… you have to find out something. Anything. Maybe ask him for coffee. Flirt a little. Dosomething.”
I want to tell her that I did all of that. I had the best time, and now it’s like I’m invisible, but the words don’t come. Instead, I stare at my lukewarm, bitter coffee and bite the inside of my cheek. “Sure. I’ll try that.”
“And hurry. I get the feeling we don’t have a lot of time, okay?” She pats my arm and stands. “You’re a star!” Victoria leans down and kisses the top of my head, then she rushes out of the breakroom and leaves behind a cloud of her overly sweet perfume.
A star.
At least someone appreciates me.
Abandoning my coffee, I trudge back to my office and open the door to find Jimmy in there leaning over my computer. “What are you doing?”
