My next breath is easier and it’s like a weight is slowly dissipating from my shoulders.
“I understand… sort of,” Calliope murmurs. “It’s not exactly the same, but ever since my dad passed, I’ve taken comfort in my surroundings because they remind me of him, but my Mom wants to change it because it’s too painful for her. It’s causing some… friction because I don’t want to lose that last connection.”
“I understand.” Nodding slowly, I focus back on her face as she finishes her coffee. “When you told me you’d spoken to my wife… I was stunned. And I couldn’t believe that these past six or seven years had been lost all because someone got to my phone before me. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I had to be sure so it didn’t sound like some shitty excuse. Which… it still does.” I laugh nervously and tighten my grip on the mug. “But it’s thetruth. Had I answered you back then, we wouldn’t have lost all these years.”
“Do you mean that?” she asks softly.
“Which part?”
“That you would have answered?”
I laugh and straighten up in my seat. “God, this is going to be so embarrassing, but yes, I mean it. Back then, when I woke up and you were gone, I thought maybe you were just some dream I had because everything was perfect. And then I wanted to go through the entire conference attendee list to find you and your last name so I could track you down, but I reasoned that would be incredibly creepy and then eventually settled that it just wasn’t meant to be. But if you called then…”
Everything could have been different. I would have met her, and we could have spent these past years learning and growing together, falling in love, and amplifying the love and instant connection I felt the moment I laid eyes on her.
“Is that why you kissed me?”
My cheeks immediately warm. “Uh… yes and no. I’m not always so great with…” Motioning between us with one hand, I grimace. “The whole talking thing. I get nervous, so I thought I could tell you how I felt with a kiss. That and I swore to myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d kiss you again. I just… fucked it up. I shouldn’t have just thrust myself at you and for that, I’m sorry.”
Calliope settles back in the booth, her lower lip curling into her mouth. I wish I could decipher the brief emotions flickering in her eyes, but they’re gone almost as soon as I notice them. She drums her fingers lightly against the side of her cup.
“I had no idea,” she murmurs eventually. “If I’d known…”
“There’s no way you could have known,” I assure her. “Trust me, I regret so much about what’s happened. Not getting your number, not looking for you all these years, the way I kissed you. If I could, I’d go back and do it all over again, but I’d do it properly this time.”
“Then why don’t you?” Her eyes flick up, and she gazes at me through her dark lashes.
My heart stops. “Huh?”
“Maybe you should try again. Properly, this time.”
20
CALLIOPE
Everything I knew was wrong.
Elijah was never married.
He didn’t use me to cheat on someone. He didn’t use me at all. What happened at that convention was an honest attraction that threw us into bed together for the best night of my life. I’ve spent the past six years being disgusted with myself for not knowing, hating myself each time Elijah cropped up in a fantasy, and crying to myself over how one mistake robbed Nick of a father.
None of it was true.
Two days after sharing coffee together, I stare at my computer screen with my hands poised over the keys and type… nothing.
I’m too distracted.
Everything I thought I knew has just been stripped away and replaced with the real possibility that Elijah has real feelings for me. Old feelings that never faded in the years we were apart because in his eyes, I was the one who got away.
It was bold of me to challenge him to try again, but I never got his answer thanks to Stacey’s desperate call that Nick was throwing up everywhere. It was non-stop battling his twenty-four-hour vomit bug, and it was surreal seeing him wake up this morning completely fine and excited to go back to school.
I close my eyes and sigh deeply, trying to force my thoughts back onto work. It’ll do me no good to dwell on Elijah.
For a few hours, it works. I spend those hours poring through the order catalog and gathering all the expected numbers for the stores to anticipate hype, then set up the pre-orders for new stock that’ll roll in around June. Lots of beach-themed jewelry this year, and I snapped a few pictures to send to Victoria. She sends back stunning emojis and lots of suns.
By the time my afternoon break rolls around, I’m exhausted. Caring for Nick meant I couldn’t sleep for fear he would throw up in the night, or in his own mouth while he was sleeping, and I wouldn’t be there to help him.
Maybe I can take a nap?
