“Are you insane?” It explodes out of me in a wave. “What the hell are you playing at? Look at the walls! This is terrible! And the blankets? Mom, I brought this from home. This is Nick’s baby blanket, why the hell would you use it to protect the damn couch?” Surging forward, I snatch up the now-stained blue blanket from the end of the couch and rapidly shake it to dislodge any caught pieces of wallpaper.
“Oh,” Mom replies flatly. “I didn’t realize.”
“It has his name on it!” Grabbing the embroidered corner, I thrust it toward her. “What have you done? The carpet’s ruined with all this… and where are the flowers? Mom, what were youthinking?”
“What was I thinking?” she snaps. “I was thinking my daughter doesn’t get to decide what I do in my own home! I was thinking I was tired of how this place looks and I was going to do something about it! I thought you’d be pleased.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Pleased? Why would I be pleased?”
“You keep harping on about it being too expensive, so I’m doing it all by myself.”
I gape at her and my mind is utterly blank for a few long seconds. “Oh, really? You’re going to strip this entire house and redecorate it by yourself? Who is going to get the wallpaper that you can’t reach, hmm?”
“I’ll ask a friend.”
“And how will you pay them?”
“With dinner, of course.”
“DinnerIpay for! And what about the repairs to the actual walls?” I throw my hand toward one of the cracks. “Who will fix that?”
“I will!”
“And who will pay for the plaster, hmm? Who will pay for the new wallpaper and paste? Who will pay to get the carpets cleaned and the air fumigated from all this dirt and dust? Whowill get the couches cleaned and these blankets washed? Who will pay for the new paint and the new curtains, Mom? Me! That’s who!”
“It’s not all about you, Calliope!” Mom yells suddenly, clutching the scraper to her chest.
“It is when I’m the one paying for it all! It’s my money keeping the lights on, don’t you get that?”
“Don’t yell at me!” She yells right back. “You’re upsetting me!”
“Thisisupsetting! Mom! How could you think this was a good idea? Did you think everything would magically fall into your lap? Did what happened at the grocery store not give you even the slightest indication of our financial struggles?”
“Oh, here we go. Everything is my fault and you’re fine. Everything I do is bad and crazy and destroying this family while you just skate by!”
“Mom, I’m not skating by. Do you really want to live in a home that looks like this?” I point at the walls, struggling to lower my voice. “Do you think I’d want to raise Nick in a dust-infested house?”
“Nick is fine,” Mom snaps. “Not that you would know because you’re never here, are you?”
The rage that swells up in response to her accusation is immediately bottled by a gasp from the doorway. I spin, and Nick stands there clutching his teddy and staring at the mess the living room has become.
“Mom? Why are you yelling?”
“Hey, sweetie. We weren’t yelling,” I say as I approach him, though my voice still trembles under the tight anger sitting hot in my chest.
“So, you’re lying to him now?” Mom remarks snarkily from behind me.
I grit my teeth as I crouch down and poke Nick lightly in the tummy. “Have you eaten?”
He immediately starts coughing, so I sweep him up into my arms and carry him out of the living room and away from the dust. “Grandma gave me pizza,” he says with a giant yawn.
Of course she did. “What kind?”
“Cheese.”
“And?”
“Ham!” He wiggles in my arms. “It was so good. I was going to save you some, but umm…” He leans back in my arms and thrusts the teddy into my face as we reach the kitchen. “Teddy was hungry too.”
